So Daddy brought up the topic today about what my collar means to me. In my view, that is a very complex question. The quick answer is it represents our commitment to each other. It represents a whole plethora of things, actually. Right now, my mind is racing with so many meanings.
Wearing Daddy’s collar, can be looked at face value as a type of jewelry that shows I am taken. I am his possession, that he owns me in whatever way that is achieved. Much in the same way a wedding band shows that two people are “taken”. The difference is this is not at all legal, it’s “only” a written, or verbal contract between Dominant and Submissive/Slave. I used the quotes because it means so much more to me than any wedding vows or wedding ring.
Collaring a submissive/slave comes with responsibilities, many responsibilities. Not just of the submissive, but also of the dominant. We each enter this contract with a distinct set of responsibilities. The sheer act of collaring is very serious in my view. It’s not to be taken lightly, or frivolously.
As his submissive, it is my responsibility to pay attention to his needs, to keep him safe when he is on a destructive path, to always be truthful, to never set out to harm him for my own personal gain, to never try to embarrass him in any way, to be at his service in any way he deems fit for me. These things can only be accomplished by having trust in my Daddy. Trust that is hard to establish. Trust that is blind and rare. Trust that takes time to grow and to flourish. Trust that he will always keep my best interest at heart. That type of trust allows me to give of myself completely and unselfishly, knowing that my needs are always being looked at and acknowledged.
His responsibilities are many, as well. He is always mindful of my physical, emotional and mental well being. He is to protect me and keep me as safe from harm as he possibly can. He is to think if what he wants is not only good for him but good for me as well. That his intentions are always for the good of our bond, and strengthen our bond and never weaken it. He needs to be able to trust me in the same exact way I trust him. That I will always keep his best interest at heart as well.
This brings me to the emotional aspect of being collared. It is a giving of my heart to my Daddy. It opens my heart to hurt and pain and relies on that trust, that even if I gave him the tools to destroy me, he couldn’t or wouldn’t do that. That I may be a vulnerable as I have ever been in my life and have the complete knowledge that I am safe; that he would never tear my spirit or my heart to shreds. At the same time, I am responsible for making sure he feels safe opening his heart and he is allowed and even encouraged, to be just as vulnerable. That is emotional well being is protected and nurtured. We are all people, we all have weaknesses and strengths. It is my job to bring out his strengths and strengthen his weaknesses in any way I can.
Having collared me means that if I hurt, he hurts and if he hurts, I hurt. He is always as aware of my feelings, as I am to be of his. Unfortunately, being humans and making our share of mistakes, we have hurt each other occasionally, but never purposefully. It is our responsibility to right our wrongs in any way we deem necessary. Shhh, don’t tell anyone but Dominants make mistakes, just as submissives do. A good dominant always thinks about his mistakes and tries hard not to repeat them, just as a good submissive does. Which brings me to communication, if a Dominant doesn’t know how you truly feel, he can’t be expected to change his behavior. As good as they are at reading us, they are not mind readers. They need to know and hear what we feel and how we feel and why. So in order not to repeat a mistake they need to know they made one, just as we need to know. It is the growth that keeps the relationship alive and helps it flourish.
Collaring is serious business. It is binding two hearts together in a world where we toss things away when we no longer find a need for them. It is an understanding of safety. It is full of responsibility. Notice the word responsibility comes up continually. It renders the Dominant and submissive responsible for each other well being, and it is never to be taken lightly if they decide to remove the collar for whatever reason. I am never allowed to take it off without permission, but in certain circumstances, (which is rare I need to) I carry it with me. It is a physical reminder that I am Daddy’s, I am his submissive, I represent him, even if no one knows that I am his submissive, but especially if they do know.
I can’t begin to express how I am honored to be daddy’s collared submissive. His heart is always safe with me, as mine is safe with him. We bring out the best in each other and never the worst. I love you, Daddy and I am yours. And you are my daddy.
My love, admiration, and devotion, always and forever,