Now I know what you’re thinking, I am not hidden. I have a group of kinky friends. I am true to myself. Well, if that’s you, you’re in the minority. Kinky people don’t like to be outted. It’s okay finally to be Gay, Transgendered, Bisexual, and it’s even okay to be obese, but KINKY? Not so much. In society, we can look at all types of people in relationships. I work with a lot of younger people. Many are gay, some are transgendered. No one is Kinky, or at least they aren’t out! That is simply impossible. I don’t know and probably will never know what the ratio of kinky people is to a hundred. Is it one in a hundred?According to Joe Magliano, Ph.D. his article states that it’s anywhere between 2 to 62 percent. Okay, seriously, 2-62%. We just don’t want to admit our love of kinky sex, let alone being in a Dominant/submissive relationship. So researchers can’t tell, how are everyday people supposed to know?
I do know, it’s as hidden from society as it was to be gay in 1940. We don’t go home and tell mom “Hey mom, I liked to be spanked” “Hey dad, I’m poly and I have a Dominant and a sister submissive and we all sleep together.” We just don’t see people saying “Oh my bruises, aren’t they adorable? They remind me of my lover and I think they are beautiful,” to the secretary at my son’s school. Nope, we are hiding all of that. Hell, I tell my best friends nearly everything, but I haven’t told them that I love being spanked with Daddy’s belt or even that I call him Daddy! Nope, they would be asking if I’ve seen a mental health professional.
We, as a society, simply do not accept BDSM as a way of life that is acceptable. Now, that being said, it’s becoming much more acceptable to have some kinky bedroom play, but let’s be honest, light spanking over someone’s knee, or some kinky toys, a blindfold or two is fine, but put me on a St. Andrew’s Cross and flogged till I am black and blue? Not so much. It’s very unacceptable to have a man put bruises on a woman. It’s considered abuse and anyone in the BDSM community know it’s the farthest thing from abuse. I have been physically abused. It’s nothing like that feeling of shame and depression that ensues.
I don’t have any answers to say “It’s okay to be kinky guys! Come out, come out where ever you are! ” Nope, I’m not throwing stones, I’m simply stating we are the last of the closet people. We hear jokes about BDSM and snicker. We don’t say a word. We don’t discuss it at PTA meetings. We are quiet and we secretly go home and smile. We do know it’s an awesome way of life. We are happy. We have a bond with our dominants that can’t be rivaled by the most romantic man on earth. We love deeper, we communicate better, we are unrivaled in the trust department. If we aren’t? We are with the wrong Dominant or submissive.
So I have to say, I don’t care who I don’t come out to, I do know I love my kinky life. I love being a babygirl to Daddy. I love being a sister to Kitty. I love my life. I don’t care if it’s a secret one. I care about my ‘family.’ I care about making them happy. I don’t care about who knows or doesn’t know. So I’ll smile at the jokes and continue to drool over the sound of Daddy saying “good girl.” I will not lead the charge of equal rights for kinksters. I will respect everyone’s safety.
I love you Daddy and I may slip and call you Daddy in a restaurant, but I would never hurt you or Kitty in any way in your personal life. I always know that we have that bond that no one can penetrate. I will grin, a wicked little grin. It’s delicious and loving and wonderful.
I love you both with all my heart,