The Power of Words

I’m not a huge proponent of mushy words. Yes, I like the occasional compliment like anyone else. Yes, I enjoy the sweet sound of a sincere “I love you, Sugar!” I simply don’t always trust words alone. It’s something I’ve written about and I’ve always said words and actions have to match.

Yesterday, I met Daddy for lunch. We sat and laughed and talked and just enjoyed the hour or so we got to spend together. I hadn’t seen him in awhile and he made a special effort to see me. I truly couldn’t ask for anything better. We left he gave me a huge kiss and a big daddy hug. We went our separate ways. I ran off to work and I realized I forgot to ask daddy about my hair. I’m in the zone to contemplate a new haircut. You know should I let it grow longer, cut it differently, keep it trimmed up? I simply don’t know. So being the good submissive I try so hard to be, I asked him.

“Daddy, I was thinking of letting my hair grow longer but it’s not looking good like I thought longer. What do you think?”

“I’d like you bald.” Laughter “Daddy I want you proud of me” “I am proud of you.” “But daddy I want to look as good as I possibly can. ” “Wonderful, baby” “Thank you daddy.” “You are beautiful to me.” Suddenly, at that moment my eyes started leaking. Not sobbing, not hysterical crying, just my tears dripping down my face. I could tell he was being sincere and it came from down in his heart and suddenly it spoke to my heart. I’m sure he didn’t realize how that would touch me. But it didn’t stop there. “You made me cry daddy.” “You’re beautiful inside and out.” I don’t do well with compliments, so I just said something totally stupid. “I don’t know how else to be.” He laughed. He knew that wasn’t some pompous remark, he knew it was a horribly lame effort to explain how I am inside. I continued to try to explain how I can’t be anything other than who I am. And how I wanted to look better but that would take some “work” meaning plastic surgery and I laughed. I’m sure he shook his head and laughed as well.

The most important thing to know is from 10 miles away, from keyboard to keyboard, when we least expected it, we had a very intimate moment. I knew that even as I aged and he aged, no matter how many hot things shake their tails at him, no matter how many looks he gave said hot tails, he would always see my beauty and I would always see his. We were intertwined and we were connected for life.

It was a moment I won’t forget how I felt. How out of no where I was instantly in happy tears and feeling like I was the most special woman in the world. I couldn’t have asked for a better moment in time.

I simply adore you, Daddy! Thank you for being my Daddy and for seeing beauty in me I often miss. And thank you for being that person who’s words and actions match to make me the happiest woman on earth.

My love and devotion are yours, always and forever,

Sugar

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Happy Birthday!!!

Today is Kitty’s birthday and we had a great lunch. Daddy is away for business again, but kitty and I went to lunch and I gave her her birthday gifts from me and Daddy. It was sweet she cried and was so happy.  I can’t be happier for her. So exciting to share holidays with each other. 

Happy Birthday, Kitty. We will be celebrating many more. 

Love and hugs, 

Sugar

And In The End… The Love You Make Is Equal To The Love You Take (Lennon/McCartney)

This is a different post just me looking back on everything that has transpired in the last three and a half years and the future. How will I be remembered? Will I be forgiven for all the mistakes I’ve made. (And trust me I’ve made more than my share.) Will I be an inspiration to anyone at all? Aging tends to bring out the reflective side of people, I think, so many questions. 

When I think of love I think of how much I can give, have given and would love to give. It’s something I always think about. Have I done everything in my power to make Daddy happy. Have I asked him for too much? Have I given him what he needs? Given him what he wants? 

Loving him is quite easy. He’s loving, funny, generous, kind, compassionate, passionate and loyal. He is consistent and always there if I need him. Always looking out for my best interest. So obviously, I appreciate everything he does for me. I think I appreciate how he cares for my little side, maybe the most. He understands her so well. He can bring her out with a word or a smile. It’s pretty amazing. He never loses patience with her and that’s something I can’t tell you how rare that is in my life. So Daddy more than gives me what I need and want and could ever desire. 

What do I hope to bring to him? Kindness, consistency, laughter, a sense of belonging to a family, making his life more- more fulfilled, more filled with love, more happiness, more of whatever he is missing. He is so self-sufficient, but he needs attention. Attention to detail, attention to his softer side, attention to his sadistic side, attention to his gentle side. Yes, my big bad -D type has the most delicious softer side ever, and of course, last but not least, attention to his sexy, steamy side. 

I would always be remiss if I didn’t give him everything he wants and needs. I would say I try hard but alas, it’s not hard at all. It’s who I am. I love making him happy. I thrive on it. It makes me happy, makes me fulfilled. It gives me a purpose in life. It allows me to be exactly who I am. I no long hide this inner child and I can let her grow and love exactly as she is. 

So Daddy anything you want from me is yours. I will always try hard to anticipate your needs and give you anything you want. You have given me all the things necessary to be a strong, loving, successful woman. I wouldn’t dream of giving you less than the sun, the moon and the stars. 

I love you from a place that few have seen- deep down inside my heart and soul. My devotion is eternally yours and I will be here for you always. And in the end the love I give will be equal to the love I have taken or I’ll die trying. Daddy you can die years and years and years from now knowing that in the end the love you made will have been easily as much as you took from me. Your heart is huge and overflowing with love. I’m eternally grateful to you and I am yours. 

Kisses and Hugs, My Dearest Daddy,

Sugar

The Basics of Submission 

When you think you may be a submissive, think hard about whether you’re truly ready to embark on this journey. It is filled with a lot of courage, obedience, patience and proper expectations to make this work for both of you. 

First of all, it takes a lot of courage. You have to have a tremendous amount of courage to give up your fears to your dominant. You are trusting him to know what is best for you. Unfortunately, all Dominants are somehow flawed. No one is perfect, not even my Daddy. As much as I’d love to think he is the perfect man, there really is no such thing. That being said, he needs not be perfect, but he is perfect for me. I have had to learn that he won’t let me truly fall. That my fears are very silly and that I am going to be protected from anything that may come along. He won’t allow me to fall and be hurt. He allows me to have trust in his guidance, and to know I am safe. He also allows me to give up my fears to him. That takes courage on my part. I have to believe and trust he will keep my best interests at heart. That he will help me with any shortcomings I may have and give me motivation to grow and also keep his best interest in my heart. 

You also need obedience. You need to give up your own self will and be able to truly obey. That sounds easy when you are thinking of things like doing some tasks your Dominant asks of you, it’s not so easily accomplished when your Dominant asks you to do something you either find distasteful or something you can’t imagine yourself doing. It’s also not easy when you just don’t feel like doing it. Could be explaining why I’m angry or being told to lose weight or being told I need to look a certain way to please him. It could be to stop complaining, or to give him space. All things that I may not want to do. Yet, my blind obedience is proof that I trust him that whatever he is asking is best for us. 

A submissive must also have a huge amount of patience. It is a huge undertaking to have a Dominant decide to take you on as his submissive. We subbie types are quite a handful. We are needy, impatient, we want all of them and we want it now! We want to be the center of his universe and we want it when we want it. We don’t mean to be this way, we just are. That combined with new submissive frenzy is a recipe for pushing away any perspective Dominant. It takes time and patience to get to know each other. There is no difference between vanilla dating or D/s relationships. It takes time and patience. We can’t jump into 100 feet of water before we learn to swim. Slow down, learn about each other’s wants, needs and expectations. This will assure that  you will build a D/s relationship on a solid foundation. 

Know what your expectations are for this relationship. What is it you expect from your Dominant, what does he expect from you as his submissive. Do you expect him to just be a sexual type Top or do you want him to be your leader, giving you guidance and be there for you whenever and wherever you are. If you are a bedroom only submissive this maybe easier to find, as it’s much easier to accomplish. It doesn’t take the huge amount of time and patience by all parties. It takes trust and takes a lot of communication but those are basics to any relationship.  

In conclusion, you need to COPE. Courage, Obedience, Patience, Expectations.  Along with a huge amount of communication and need I say, love. It’s these things that drive my own submission, I truly am blessed and honored to be able to have a loving and trust-worthy leader.

I love you, Daddy. I think I am the luckiest baby girl on earth. My heart and devotion are yours. 

Big hugs and kisses,

Sugar

Daddy’s Greatest Gift to Me

It was a long shot. Daddy and I were both heading in different directions in the sky. He’s been crazy running around with business, family issues and trips. I haven’t gotten to see him nearly as much as I’d like to, and it has become sad to me. I simply miss him. We talk every day on the phone and through text, but I, being the tactile person I am, need to be touched, kissed, hugged and any other thing you can do to touch me. It had been only a day or so since we all had lunch as a family, but a restaurant is a place you can be only so touchy feeling. 

What we found out was we were going to be in the airport around the same time. He made a very special effort to get here early, but the time was growing shorter and I really was hoping to see him. It was only about 15 minutes till I had to board. I got a phone call “Where are you?” I gave him my location and we saw each other. I ran like a Hollywood 40’s romance movie and he grabbed me and lifted my body in the air. He made it and I felt like a very special girl. I was so excited. He took my hand and walked me back to the gate. He kissed me good bye and he smiled as big as I did. 

What made it so very special was, it didn’t cost a dime. His eyes were twinkling like diamonds. He reached out to me, like I was the most important person in the world. Like I truly mattered (which I know I do.) He made the effort to come and see me. And it was noticeable that I was as important to him as he was to me. We matched. His words and actions matched. He didn’t just say words to me. He showed me. The whole thing may have been 10 minutes but it felt like hours. Why? Because he showed me what his heart was feeling. 

Often we have people whose words and actions don’t always align. Sometimes they mean well, but it is a long road to the true emotions. I mattered, I do matter. I will matter for a long time to come. I am wanted, loved and needed. I am his babygirl, his submissive and I am happy. He is my Daddy. I am taken good care of. And I am his. He means the world to me. 

When he left and I got on my plane, he texted me. “Do you feel loved?” I smiled. I felt loved. And wanted. And I smiled and I knew. I was his. 

Thank you daddy for everything you do. Thank you for being so good at being so good to me. Thank you for everything you do. 

I adore you,

Sugar

Why Would You? 

fullsizeoutput_2daeIf you are a submissive and you know about the BDSM lifestyle, you should understand some basic rules of the lifestyle. The bond with a Dom and his submissive is tight. I could never go to a dominant with a “family” and assume I could ask to be sexually involved with them. It is a bond that is tighter than marriage. Knowing that someone has a submissive family, you should be respectful of them and their place in his life. It is neither becoming nor welcomed by the family to assume you have that right. I, in turn would also not assume, I could just bypass you and go to your boyfriend/Dominant and ask him to have any type of sex with me without speaking to you first and, of course, my Daddy about it first. I would think that people would know the same basic social rules should apply to BDSM families as in vanilla families. Sure, we are poly, but we are also a family!

I don’t know if other people have this issue, but it is annoying. Please use basic social rules of society if you befriend part of our family. Whether it is “hitting” on me or my sister or Daddy, it’s not nice to do when you know we are a family. It is rude and  insensitive. I am a very kind understanding submissive, I am not the truly jealous type. I do watch out for daddy’s well being and his heart. I will never understand women who act like they have a “right” to just assume they can replace us. It’s funny in a lot of ways. Daddy talks and is cordial. He will never be deceitful or lie to me, so ladies what you tell him eventually we know about. We have a no lies, no secrets agreement. We have a tighter bond than anyone can understand or imagine. 

Now I’m sure many of you are thinking, “Her Daddy should address this issue with them.” My daddy is kind and respectful. He is also extremely loyal to me and Kitty. He would never just not tell me about any sexual interlude without running it past me ahead of time. My issues aren’t with his behavior, they are with women’s behavior. They ask him for playtime (very submissive, as well by the way, said being more than a tad sarcastic) and either don’t choose to speak to us or ignore us. I am honored to have a very loyal and honest Daddy, who shows us his love in so many ways, being loyal is simply one of them. 

If you have experienced this, please leave a comment… I am baffled and confused. 

Sorry for the rant. lol I’m done now! It just needed to be said- out loud and for all submissive women to read and understand.   I’m sure we aren’t the only submissives who experience this. I’m sorry to all the respectful subs who also go through this. I feel for you. 

Thank you daddy for always keeping my best interest at heart, for understanding my fears and knowing my insecurities. I can’t ever think of a better Daddy to hold my heart. 

I Love you, and thank you for being who you are, 

Sugar!

Being in a poly relationship has its ups and downs and takes communication, openness, trust and love to make it work. This post is about the 2 wonderful people I have embarked on this journey with almost 2 years ago. They are my rocks, my confidants, my sanity (at times)and my Daddy and Sister. I believe that people come into another persons life for a reason.  

These two have entered my life and have allowed me to enjoy their special bond, they have allowed me to love them and share fun times, erotic times, crazy adventures, challenging time and sad times. I just want to say thank you for listening and caring. Thank you for guiding me and picking me up when I stumble. Love always! 

Kat 

Flashback FridayWords and Actions – A Match Game (originally posted June 15, 2016)

We all have heard kind words, words that make your body melt, your heart sing, your mind wander to intimate scenes in far off places. Words that make you angry, feel badly about yourself or enraged. Words can heal or hurt, but words alone can be empty as well. 

When someone we love dearly has lots of beautiful words, we light up. We think how loved we are, it warms our soul. Yet if words are not followed by actions, they are no more filling than looking at a picture of a good meal. Looks great, but you grow hungrier each minute for real substanence. This is especially true in BDSM relationships. If I tell daddy I need to see him and all I get is an I love you and nothing else? Sounds great but did he make the effort? Or try to? If I tell my daddy that, he ALWAYS makes the effort, if humanly possible. It may be a five minute hug and kiss in a mall parking lot -but I will see him ASAP – it’s going to happen. I have many, many examples of words and actions and my daddy. Another one is I sleep much better and calmer when daddy says good night to me. He never misses. Even sick, even with his family, even in another state, another country, even if he’s upset with me. Never misses. It’s important to me, so it’s important to him. 
I am also the same way. If something is important to daddy? It’s important to me. An example, daddy loves feminine women. It is rare I would meet daddy without my hair, makeup done and cute panties. I even keep makeup in the car in case we happen to get 5 minutes and I don’t know about it ahead of time. Doesn’t take long to throw on some makeup and makes me feel pretty. Daddy likes thinner women. I’m not so thin. So since I’ve met him I’ve lost 25 pounds. It’s slow and it’s steady but it’s an action I can do. It’s not lip service, it’s not a dream. It’s the little concrete things we do. Daddy and I both delight in surprising each other with little gifts, and sometimes big gifts. It’s our way of saying out loud I love you and having our actions match our words. I will pick him up a shirt I know he’s like or some of his favorite tea, or a belt that he may use to spank me. I may get flowers or candy or he’ll take me to eat. We make the effort. We are worth the effort. I would never ever let a holiday, or birthday go by without getting daddy a gift or making him one. It’s not about the how grand the gift is or isn’t, it’s about celebrating your relationship. Making the effort and maintaining the effort, which leads back to consistency and that makes for a very stable relationship. 

Many times people say lots of things to you. I’ve missed you, and never make the effort to see you. I love you and never think to do something they know you’d love. They forget the loving courtship things that are so important to maintaining a relationship. The little things that say in actions, you matter. It is important to know what your partners love language is and do something. DO SOMETHING, ANYTHING BIG OR SMALL, but show your words have meaning. Talk is cheap, actions speak volumes. 

So if your significant other has beautiful words but the actions don’t say the same thing? It’s truly time to reevaluate the relationship. If they truly mean what they say, you’ll not only hear it, you’ll see it and feel it. You will have loving actions that match their exquisite words. Then and only then will you know how it feels to be truly loved. 

Thank you for being such a great daddy and for always backing up your words with actions. I love you daddy. 

Yours,

Sugar

What Does a Submissive Want From a Dom? (or what does she really need?)

The short answer is “EVERYTHING.” We want everything. We all want the perfect dominant. Strong, knows how to push all her pleasure buttons, knows how to put her in her place, without making her feel small. He takes care of all her wants and desires. She wants it all. She wants it now, now let’s look at what she actually needs.

She needs consistency. She needs to be able to trust that she is in good hands, that if he makes a rule, he will follow up with consequences if it is broken. She needs to be loved consistently. She needs to know that he won’t let her cross certain lines. She needs to know she must respect him. She needs to know that he is worth her submission. She needs to know that her limits will be respected. She needs to have her limits pushed to what is pleasing to her Dominant.

Now how to find such a dominant is one of the real issues. We need to use social media and find some worthy munches or meet and greets to actually socialize with real people. You can’t go to a library or the supermarket and say “Hello, I’m Sugar, I’m a submissive. Do you happen to be a dominant?” So to social media, munches and meet and greets we go to meet our Domniants. Then, we need to weed out the idiots, the fakes and the “gee this sounds like a good way to get laid and beat up a woman” types.

So we need to build up an arsenal of weapons to separate the real Dominants from the idiots, and talk to them, ask them questions-lots of questions. PAY Attention! If you meet them either online or in person, and they demand you to call them anything but their names? RUN! Just think idiot. If they demand you sleep with them or your not a submissive? RUN! Think idiot. If they tell you real submissives do not have limits or safewords? RUN! Think idiot.

So how do you know what you truly want and need as a submissive? Only you can decide that. Make a list of things that are imperative for you. Not all the things you may “want” but a list of things you need. Desperately need to be fulfilled, then think of who you have met. Take your time. We are in the minority. There are many more Dominants males then submissive females. (Now many are the idiots, but the numbers are the same) Take your time. Keep looking until you find one worthy of your submission. It will be worth the wait. But keep one thing in mind. The word Dominant should be synonymous with the word Leader. If a Dominant doesn’t appear to be a leader, run. He’s not a Dominant. Dominants are always leaders.

I waited a lifetime to meet my Daddy. I can’t tell you how wonderful he is to both of us. He is my rock, my hero, my leader. We are different sides of the same coin- heads and tails of each other. I am lost without his guidance. He is a wonderful leader to his girls.

I feel very special to have found such a wonderful man to lead me. I know that it’s not easy to find such a diamond. His honesty and loyalty to his girls is remarkable and more than appreciated. He has our backs and we will always have his.

I love you with all my heart and soul Daddy,

Sugar

 

Aging Babygirls 

I wrote an article for Kayla Lords’ blog called “Thoughts of an Aging Submissive Babygirl.” I think you may enjoy it. And it’s truly a blog about how I feel about getting older. If you can check it out. Her blog is amazing and her writing is also. 

Here is the link: Thoughts of an Aging Submissive Babygirl

Please check out her other site at Loving BDSM, as well. She has a great deal of information there for everyone. 

Love you,

Sugar