In this odd world of online meetings, getting to know someone can be difficult. They are only real to me if I see thing, meet them or know someone who knows them. People online lie. I don’t always understand it. My adage is “Say what you mean, mean what you say.” It can be scary and unsettling to someone who trusts so deeply, as myself.
I was catfished about 8 years ago by a lovely man I actually had a relationship with. Now how could I say he was lovely. Well, aside from the lying about his name and career and how many women he had, we had a odd close relationship. I met him monthly or so for some play time and he was a caring and kind man. I spoke to him nightly. Just about every night. He was attentive and loving. Problem was he was also attentive and loving to a WHOLE LOT of women, which would have been okay if I had known. How did I find this out? Long, very sad story, in which I happened to know his password to his email and I had a very intuitive suspicion he died. I hunted the obituaries and found his real name and picture. So to be a good little submissive, I went into his email and found all of the women clammering to speak to “him.” I immediately told them the situation, and was welcomed by some, and others said I was him and lying to get rid of them. I showed them the obituary and they still didn’t believe me. Mind boggling. I was his good girl until the end. I was loyal, even through my broken heart. I snapped out of my severe sadness rather quickly and then simply felt foolish. How could I have let all of the red flags go. How could I have just blindly trusted this man without knowing anything about him but his touch?
Deep sigh, I was a victim of his catfishing and also of being foolish. I knew in my heart he wasn’t who he said he was. I knew he was lying. I am a kind and trusting soul. I love hard and deep and that wasn’t the first time I was duped. It left me clammering for some sanity. I stayed away from online dominants for months. I became a hermit. I needed to reevaluate my need for BDSM and its lure to me.
In time I got over the shock and peeked out from under my shell. I reconnected with a Dominant I had known who was famous for ghosting me. Now you see them, not you don’t. But he swore to me he could never do that again. He lied. So I won’t go into that story, it’s so lame of me to trust again. It was at that time that I met my Daddy. I said to myself, “It’s just for fun, he will break your heart like all the rest so just have fun. Light and fluffy fun. Don’t you dare fall in love with that man, girl! Don’t get bogged down by him. You can’t be loved the way you need to be.” I blamed me.-for it all. I blamed me. My stupidity, my eagerness, my down right trusting immaturity, my own lack of seeing those huge, giant, red flags. Stupid old me.
Well, I did fall in love, but I was cautious this time. I got to know him and showed him me slowly. And although I knew the moment I met him I was in trouble, I knew I would love him one day, I took it slowly. I became friends, I had fun, I went to lunch, I met for a few hours without any kinky playtime. I got to know him, and better still he got to know me. He got to know who I was for real. It took time. It took trust, it took some arguing and some speaking up about things he didn’t like and I didn’t like. We actually got to know each other! Like real, human beings! How novel an idea!
So when online, do yourself a favor. People aren’t real until you meet them, and even then, find out all you can about them. Search their name on the web, see if they are who they say they are, see if you can see them in the work place for lunch. Are they who they say they are? Or are they simply a figment of their own imagination.
Beware, but don’t become callous, don’t become hardened, don’t become angry and bitter. Life is too short and sometimes, you need to open your heart one more time. One more time, with your eyes wide open and walking ahead slowly.
I am honored to be Daddy’s submissive and best friend and lover. It’s a priviledge and a joy in my heart.
Thank you Daddy, for seeing inside of me and knowing that I am exactly who I say I am! I know you are exactly who you say you are as well.
Kiss and hugs,