What a submissive is NOT—-

So many articles state what a submissive is supposed to be. She is suppose to be obedient, anticipate your needs, be respectful, follow orders, do what you need her to do, etc., but almost no one talks about what she is not.

She is not stupid. She has intelligence and has opinions. She has a good brain and uses it. She may be wired differently from other women but she’s still intelligent and has her own thoughts.

She is not a door mat. She can say no to people, especially people not her dominant. She can ignore or not follow your directions, if you’re not her Dom. She doesn’t have to say yes to anyone but her dominant.

She is not a whore. She may be her dominant’s whore. She may be his slut. That doesn’t mean you will ever get a chance to touch her, without he dominant or her permission. She doesn’t just spread her legs for anyone. Actually, she may be more monogamous than most women. She is very much devoted to her dominant and would never cross his orders.

She is not easily lead. It takes brains and intelligence to lead her. She requires caring, respect affection, and compassion, and kindness(CRACK) to awaken her submission to anyone. She needs to know you have her best interest at heart. She needs to know you have earned the right to her submission.

She does not need inconsistency. She’s much better suited to you and her world being as consistent as possible. Don’t keep changing your rules and guidelines for her. Don’t say yes one day and no the next. You’ll confuse her and will make her feel Insecure in her submission. She thrives on consistency. She craves it.

So there are many things a submissive is, but many things she is not. Treat her as the unusual and spectacular woman she truly is and you will be rewarded with probably the finest, most loyal, loving woman you have ever come across.

I am proud to be daddy’s very loyal submissive. He has earned my submission and my love. I am his person. His submissive to hold dear to his heart. And he is my Daddy, first and foremost to follow and lead me.

I love you, Daddy,

Always and forever,

Sugar

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Doesn’t Matter…

Screen Shot 2018-01-17 at 1.21.49 AMNope. Doesn’t matter, if you have a bad day, I’ll still love you. Doesn’t matter, if you have nothing or everything, I’ll still love you. Doesn’t matter, if you are angry at me, I’ll still love you. Doesn’t matter, who else you love, I’ll still love you. Doesn’t matter, if you make a mistake, I’ll still love you. Doesn’t matter, if you punish me for being an ass, I’ll still love you. Doesn’t matter, how long you have to go away, I’ll still love you. Doesn’ t matter, if you love me or not, I’ll still love you. Doesn’t matter, what you do or don’t do, I’ll still love you.

I will love you till my last breath. I will hold your heart safe inside of my heart. I will do everything I can to protect your entire being. I will love you forever.  I will love you unconditionally and without expectations. I will love you, not who I want you to be, not who you want to be, not who everyone else sees, YOU! Raw, unfiltered, stripped of your persona, you… I love YOU…

Life will work out for you, life will carry you to new things. I will be there with you every step of the way.

My love, my heart, my prayers, my being, are yours, I am yours.

I love you, always and forever,

Sugar…

New Year’s Resolutions!

Screen Shot 2017-12-29 at 11.29.42 PMWhen I think of New Year’s Resolutions, I think of weight loss. I think of looking better. I think of hard work in the diet and exercise arena. I am sure that is what many of us are thinking about, and yes, that is my one of my New Year’s Resolutions, but this year I am going to add some things that probably no one will notice. No one will say ” You look great.” I am going to be better inside. Better at being kinder, more gentle, more tolerant, a better person in general. I want to try to do something nice for someone each day. I want to be more giving, more like a weeping willow than an oak. Softer in my thinking, less ridged. I will have Daddy to help me and guide me and to protect me.

Why would I need protection? I am very easily “taken” by people. It is easy for me to become a doormat.  Daddy always lets me know when that is happening. I can rely on his judgment and his guidance to help me. I also want to be a much better submissive for him. Grow in my submission, grow in my knowledge of his needs. He is a wonderful man who deserves to have the best in life, and that includes having the best in me. So yes, I will try my damndest to look better, be better and try harder. I have a big heart and I can’t think of a better way to make it bigger still. I know that there is no limit to how big your heart can get. I can trust that I will be safe because I have someone to watch over me.

I am so very blessed and so very happy to have my life as it is. I thank God for all that I have. It will make me happier to share all my blessings with others. I am eternally grateful that I have Daddy and Kitty. I don’t know what I’d do without them. They warm my heart and make it swell. They make me so very happy. It is my joy to serve my Daddy in any way, I can.

I love you, Daddy. I want to make you so very proud of me. That means I have to be the best submissive I can be, the best at caring for your needs, your desires, caring for you. It also means I have to be healthy, wise and not foolish. It means I have to trust only those who have earned my trust and help those who need my help, but won’t abuse my help. You are the one person I can trust with my life. I know you trust me, as well. Your happiness is at the forefront of my thinking. I want you to be happier than you have ever been in your life and I know you will always take care of my needs. You are my heart, and you have my heart.

My eternal love and devotion always,

Happy New Year Everyone! May 2018 be your best ever!!!

Sugar

Happy Birthday, Daddy!

Today is Daddy’s birthday. I can’t think of anyone I want to have the happiest birthday than Daddy. He’s not with me today, but he’s here in my heart. I know that every moment he is away, he feels my love and good wishes.

Daddy didn’t always have it so easy in life. He made a wonderful life for himself and never wallows in self pity. I admire him so very much. He would give those he loves anything to make them happy and feel loved. I would do anything to see him smile and feel loved. He wasn’t and isn’t always loved properly, but he never even knew what love was suppose to look like so he accepted whatever he received. I will  always try to make up those years to him, to love him properly, to make him feel totally and unconditionally loved. He has my heart, devotion, admiration and love.  Daddy is a treasure to all who know him.

His birthday is a celebration for me. I am reminded that God sent him to this earth maybe, just for me to love. Maybe, just to show me a better way to be. Someone special, who understands me like no one else could ever really understand me and can lead me to be all that I can be. Someone, who also needs me, as much as I need him. Someone, which I can show and receive unconditional love. A rare experience in today’s world, indeed.

I love you, Daddy!!! Happy, happy birthday! The best is yet to come, and I will be here to celebrate the day you were born. It is my day too! The day the love of my life was born and sent here to find me one day!!!

Love and admiration,

Sugar

P.S. It all started with a cupcake!

Peace and Kindness

I would like to say thank you for all the readers of our blog. It may seem like a silly thing but writing is cathartic to me. The fact that anyone reads our blog at all is amazing to me. I know I speak for Daddy, and Kitty when I say thank you all. Your comments, encouragement, laughter, and support often make my day. Your likes and quips often make me keep writing.

Remember this holiday season, no matter what faith or where you are, be kind to each other. Just do one kind thing a day. Take the time to acknowledge those you love. Maybe even those who you don’t love as we. If we all did just one kind thing millions of kind things would be accomplished every day.

I have a Daddy who does kind things for me all the time, but that isn’t unusual you say, he is “family.” He does kind things for people he doesn’t even know. He will be mad at me for saying anything he’s done but I will anyway. He saw a homeless guy who was trying to fish with a broken rod, he gave him one. He saw a girl in the airport buying a drink and she was short money he gave her a $10 gift card. He has given countless people money or food or clothing or whatever, when they were down. I could go on and on. I won’t embarrass him any more than that. (For you see, he’s very humble and doesn’t understand his value all the time.)

And I have been touched by a man who has taught me to do kind things for those who have less than I do. Someone who is not only a leader, but an inspiration to me. I look up to him always but especially this time of the year.

I admire you Daddy more than you could ever know. You have changed my world for the better. I am stronger, kinder and more secure because I know that you are behind me protecting me, and I am i front of you protecting you. You have referred to me as you little warrior submissive. You bring out that part of me. You have given me someone worth fighting for (besides my children.) I wish you peace in your heart and an know that you are my hero.

Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, or whatever you believe but all religions and even atheists know without kindness we are nothing.

So please do kind things for each other. Pay it forward and do a good deed. Make someone smile, make someone feel good about themselves. It’s doesn’t cost much and maybe you will have given humanity a reason to grin after all. I know my Daddy does.

I love and admire you, and I’m here for you.

As Always, Your faithful and Loyal Submissive,

Sugar

Merry Christmas to Us!!!

It was a great day! Daddy, Kitty and I were so excited. We got together and had an early Christmas complete with a ton of gifts and lots of cheer, and lots of good food. We much needed some quality time together. It was as magical as any Christmas I have ever had. I truly believe we were all spoiled and it was amazing to see Daddy’s and Kitty’s faces. And I’m sure they enjoyed my complete shock at all of my presents.

But with all the festivities being so wonderful, the best thing and most important thing of all, was the time we got to spend together. We got to talk, relax, eat and talk some more. We had time to just relax and to reconnect. It’s very important to do that and with all of our schedules it’s getting harder and harder to achieve.

I want to thank my family for everything they give me, for putting up with me, and for loving me just the way I am. I can be opinionated, loud and sometimes get upset more easily than I should. Yet, they love me anyway. I will, however, protect them always, sometimes even when they don’t like it. I am fiercely protective of both of them and no one gets to hurt them.

That may be my most honest gift and one that will be there forever. I will watch out for them, and keep harm from them as much as I can. I will call them on their BS and they will do the same to me. I will always be there for them, and even if we are not always happy with each other, we will be there, I will communicate with them how I feel and expect them to do the same. We are a family, we stand together as a family.

I love you both and I feel your love as well. It’s something that can’t be taken, given away or sold. It’s our love for each other. My heart is full this Christmas season with love, passion and a desire to please the family. I love you. A deep, unselfish love, and strong need to see them happy, healthy and at peace. This is the perfect time of year for that need to be manifested.

I can’t do everything to make that happen but I can try to help you both, as you both help me all the time. My heart is yours and I love you both so much.

Merry Christmas and may the joy of this season give you peace!

My love,

Sugar

The Abuse of Unconditional Love in a D/s Relationship

Many times the D/s relationships have unique power exchanges. The uniqueness of these power exchanges differs from each Dominant and each submissive. A submissive often has a very loyal and trusting soul. They love to please their dominant. They will do anything to make sure he is happy. That works beautifully when the Dominant is the real deal, trustworthy and honesty. Let us not forget having his submissive’s best interest at heart! That is something I know most Dom/sub relationships strive to achieve.

It is, however, imperative to look out for the signs of an abusive use of power when you’re a submissive. You know when something isn’t right. Deep in your heart. You feel it. Ask yourself these important questions. Would you be upset if a submissive friend told you her Dominant wanted this for her? So think, does whatever your dominant ask of you meet your approval for someone else? This will help clarify if what you’re feeling is justified when you seem confused. Here is an example, if. Daddy and I disagree on something, is it beciawe I want my own way or is not something that makes me feel badly about myself or our relationship? If I can answer that honestly then I know what the issues are and I can address them with daddy. It takes a huge amount of communication and a heap of courage to tackle those difficult topics.

That brings me to rules in general. Each and every relationship has some set of rules. These rules are either vocalized or unvocalized. Some times you can think of those rules as your limits. You don’t want any D/s relationship that has no limits. You have them even if no one has talked about them. This is the yet another way to judge the relationship and your feelings. Is your dominant consciously breaking the rules/limits or are you causing drama to get your own way. You are the person who can decide that. It is your responsibility to determine if you are being Bamboozled or abused. Remember if it feels like abuse or you feel badly, it is abuse.

This also goes for a Dominant! It is not unusual for a Daddy Dominant to be very soft when it comes to his babygirl. Is she taking advantage of his kindness? Is she asking for more than he should be giving? An example of that is money. Is that submissive asking for him to pay for her bills when she is suppose to be living on her own. I’m not talking about buying her a gift or helping her out in an emergency. I’m talking about taking advantage of his kindness. Maybe he has children and alimony and/ or child support. Maybe he can’t afford to pay her electric bill each month. That is an abuse of her power. She needs to be an adult and do the adult thing. It is the abuse that is despicable.

My daddy could probably take advantage of me without a problem. I could also do the same to him. It would be easy for both of us as much as we love each other, unconditionally and without the fear of abuse of power. Yet, we could no more do that than we could cause each other emotional pain on purpose. It would eventually break the trust we have in each other and cause a demise of our relationship. Yes, we could take advantage of each other. But where would that get us? We would be no better than a slimy con artist that is out for their own self concern. We definitely wouldn’t be emulating a healthy relationship of any kind and it wouldn’t last very long at all.

I am one of the lucky ones. I have found someone who is open, honest and would never abuse the love I so freely give him. I could no more abuse his trust than jump off a bridge. I could not tell him a lie or cause him to wonder if I am loyal. I am his. And he is my Daddy. I know that his unconditional love is a rare gift- our diamond with many facets. Why would either of us try to break that trust and unconditional love? It would be like tossing that diamond in a trash can. I, for one, love sparkly things and boy, do we sparkle!

To make sure you are not being abused or taken advantage of, be aware, communicate well, use your inner voice, don’t be taken by anyone, but when you finally find that special relationship, don’t break it. Savor each moment. Life is short. Love hard, but love well. Love smartly, and give it your all with someone who will give you his all.

I love you, adore you and love your twinkling and our sparkle when we are together. You have my trust, my loyalty and my heart. I have yours as well. We are safe. We are loved- unconditionally.

My heart, always and forever,

Sugar

Diamond Cut D/s Relationships

Diamonds are multifaceted, sparkly, beautiful, rare stones. A great D/s relationship should be very similar. It should be a hard to break, impossible to disintegrate, difficult to destroy. A Dominant and submissive should be in sync, they need to be on the same page. It should be the most trustworthy relationship which anyone has ever been involved. It should sparkle, shine and be something other could and should emulate in their own way. When I say they should emulate it, I don’t mean a carbon copy, they should look at the values, the essence of the relationship, and see what it is that works for them.

All relationships are different, ours is different than yours, and the next great D/s relationship will be different than either yours or ours. This individuality maintains the uniqueness that makes your foundation so perfect for you and your Dominant or submissive. So what exactly makes these relationships shine? There are several things, the best ones always have many different facets.

One facet is trust, I would say this is what gives it the sparkle, With this trust, you can always rely on the person, whether it is your dominant or submissive, that trust goes both ways.  It is the crux of your relationship. That trust is imperative and necessary to grow and to flourish. When I say trust, it refers to honesty, to openness, to never withholding information or knowledge. Like opening a book the entire contents are there for you to read. A D/s relationship is exactly that open and disclosed. No holds barred and nothing kept back. The best ones are like that. Both Dom and sub know each other’s strengths and weaknesses, and how to support those strengths and weaknesses.

Another is consistency, to be able to rely on your partner to respond to things in a consistent manner maybe one of the most underrated facets of any relationship. To know that if you make mistakes, (and we all will make them!) that nothing will change. That if you are to meet your sub at 2:30, she will be there, if she is to show up wearing that thong you requested, she will arrive in that thong. That when you tell her she is going to dinner on Saturday, you take her to dinner. Consistency breeds trust. And if by chance you make that mistake of forgetting, you apologize and show some real remorse. It’s not perfection we are after, it’s consistency. It’s a very important branch of all relationships.

Chemistry is something you can’t make happen. Two people either have it or they don’t. That is something you can’t predict, you can’t understand or know until you meet with your soon-to-be partner. When you don’t have it, nothing can make it happen, but when you do, it’s magical. Now that being said, you can start out with minimal chemistry, because you haven’t developed a relationship as of yet. I have seen the chemistry grow. Haven’t you ever known someone who is not handsome/beautiful and as you get to know them they grown more handsome/beautiful as time goes on? I think we all have.

All of those facets, get stirred into a pot and what comes out is love. Love is the stone itself and the qualities of the relationship are what give it it’s luster, it’s shine, it’s unique quality. Without the love, I see no sparkle. It’s the love that makes the Dominant and submissive need to follow all of those things, to know that breaking the trust of their partner would destroy the fiber of the relationship is something that would hurt them as much as their partner. That being inconsistent would confuse them as well. Making them second guess themselves. It’s love of their partner that causes them to need to follow the relationship rules, no matter what. If you tear the cloth of your relationship you can mend it but it usually always has the mend showing. Better to not have to mend something that is pristine.

In Daddy’s and my relationship, we have many different roles. He is my Daddy and Dominant, I am his babygirl, his submissive. He is my best friend and I am his as well. He is my buddy, my partner in crime. We are each others confidants. He is my sadist, I am his masochist at times. We have BDSM times and we have times of making love. We enjoy many of the same things, and we teach each other things all the time. We grow, we learn, and we love with each day. And yes, occasionally, though not often, we argue. We disagree. We don’t see eye to eye. It has been a learning process to trust that Daddy will not leave me and I will not leave him. I have learned to stop before I spill venom like a volcano, to ask questions, to try to understand and he has done the same.

Good relationships take work, great ones take passionate work. The results of this work is a beautifully crafted, multifaceted piece of art. Harder than steel, and more beautiful than any great thing of beauty, a diamond relationship is glorious, brilliant and rare.

I am very fortunate to have a special and rare relationship with Daddy, that is built on trust, consistency, and love. He is my Daddy, friend, lover, dominant, confidant and more. I couldn’t think of anyone else in the world I could have this relationship with besides him. It’s never shallow and always filled with sparkle. We shine brightly and if you look closely, you’ll see our many facets. Shine on Daddy. We’ve only begun to find all of the sides to us.

I love you, respect you, and admire you. All the days of my life are yours now,

Sugar

Happy Thanksgiving to All

Enjoy your day with all your friends and family. Life is short party on!!!

Enjoy your day everyone. Give thanks and give a hug to those you love. Happy day to my family, Daddy and Kitty!

I love you, Daddy and Kitty,

Enjoy every moment and I am thankful for you both!

Sugar

How Do You Show Thanks to Your Dominant?

Thanksgiving always conjures thoughts in my brain about what I’m thankful for in my life. This year I am focusing on my Dominant and what he and I do foreach other to show our thanks.

I am probably most thankful for his wisdom. His ability to calm me down and think more clearly. His ability to have me refocus on the important things in my life and ignore those things that simply aren’t worthy of my time. I try hard to do the same for him. My thoughts are not always clear but when they are I return the favor to him by helping him clear his mind when needed.

I look at his love languages and I try hard to give him something off the top two or three things in that list. He needs verbal praise and physical touch. He needs small gifts to show him what he means to me. He needs me to be available to him both mentally and physically and emotionally. That put together with our bond makes for a very happy Dom/ sub relationship. He, of course, tries to do the same for me. We have the bond we do because of the efforts we put into our relationship. It may sound like a lot of work but in essence it’s far from it. It’s joyous to see and feel his happiness and I can see how excited he gets from my happiness as well.

I try hard to thank him for being who he is, as my belief is there is no better compliment that being acknowledged for who you are. What you do is so nice to hear, acknowledging what you say is always sweet, but knowing someone loves you for who you are- that is priceless. I try hard to let him know that it’s who he is that I love. Many women flatter him daily, but rarely do they understand or know him. They like his looks, his accent, his humor but they don’t always see him. That is something I have seen, almost eerily, from the first day we met in person.

I am thankful beyond believe for having this man to guide me, to love me, to have his laughter and joy in my life. I will never stop trying to show him thanks for all that he does for me. He is the kindest, most thoughtful man I know. He is very humble as well so he’d never admit that. I can’t sing his praises enough really. And best of all, he’s my daddy. He has a piece of my heart tucked away in his heart. (And he appreciates it as well.)

Happy Thanksgiving, Daddy. May only good shine on you today and all year through. May sadness and sorrow bypass your heart and joy abound. I love you and I appreciate all that you do. If I can ever do anything to ease your worries or help you, I will be there in a flash. Ready for anything.

My love and devotion, always and forever,

Sugar