Let me guess, you have read all the 50 Shades books and even seen the movie 10 times. I know you keep having strange, disturbing, recurring, and intense dreams of a strong, masterful man having his dirty way with you.
Maybe he/she tears off your clothes and takes you hard. Maybe they throw you over their knee and give you a long, hard spanking with their belt. I wonder will they tie you naked and spread-eagle you on their bed and take you like you have never been taken before. Perhaps they will put a dog collar around your neck and order you to kneel at their feet.
Now have these fantasies become an everyday thing. Do they consume your day, when you are at the water cooler or perhaps you are in the store? Do you masturbate thinking about how badly you need it? Have you looked through fetlife or collarspace searching for your Mr. Grey/Ms Grey? Does the missionary position your husband, boyfriend or girlfriend do to you just not get it done any more?There has to be a fear in you, that if you mention these fantasies you may get you beaten, raped or robbed.
If you have any of these feelings, it may be that you are a submissive. It also may be because your enamored with the erotica side of the feeling. I would suggest if you have persistent deep inner feelings of serving a strong man/women, you are indeed a submissive. If you have had these feelings since childhood, indeed you are a sub.
Now we have established a need and the desire, now for the good news. There is a way for you to pursue your deepest darkest fantasy’s in a safe secure manner. It is possible for you to find a good decent man/women who can connect with you in a none abusive way. A man/women who can share in your need and is able to direct you and bond in a way no other person can. There is also a good chance this man/women will be a long term partner, that you will fall in love and it last a long time.
Now for the bad news, there is no sure fire way to find that “Mr/Ms. right” There are so many really bad/ugly people in the lifestyle. There is no magic pill that you can give to a man to find out if He/She is a good Dom or just a Guy/Girl who tied up his girlfriend/boyfriend when he/she was 20. Men/women will claim they have all kinds of experience in the lifestyle. It can be really difficult for a new Submissive to tell the difference between a wonderful caring Dom and a dangerous vengeful abusive one. I warn you getting involved with such a person could damage you both emotionally and physically forever. Such a person can ruin your personal and business life, leaving you devastated forever.
I will in the next few writings lay out some tips I would suggest you follow to minimize the damage and sort through the wheat from the chaff.
Prepare yourself emotionally and physically for your hunt. This is not a sprint but a long hard endurance race. Have clear rules of engagement for your first date. Be clear with on what you want, what you expect and what you will and what you will not accept. Do your internal homework before you ever set out to find your suitor. I will go through some other tips on my next Blog.