Loving a Dominant or Just Service? 

As I think about this topic I would love to be able to say it’s possible for me to simply enjoy my service to my daddy. To enjoy our time together, enjoy our sexual playtime, and just be his toy or playmate. All fun stuff. It’s exhilarating and enjoyable for sure. The hard truth is I tried. Oh believe me, I tried. Actually, in the beginning I was doing quite well. Then pow. “Oh fuck”, I’m falling in love with him. 

How it happened is not really as mysterious as it sounds. We grew closer. We trusted more. He identified  my little, Sophie. He named her. He started to relate to me on many different levels. He understood my “little side,” my nurturing side and my desire to please. So when all of this started coming together, I fell. I don’t think it should be falling in love it should be soaring. I feel better about us, my sister and our relationship than ever. He nurtures me. He holds me tight emotionally, spiritually and physically. 

I need to be a better person–For me! “Now wait just a minute,” you’re thinking. “Why for you?” Because you are worth it. Because he made you know you are worth it. Because you know that if you take care of you, he will benefit. He will reap the benefits of your actions. I am improving daily. He knows that. And yes, daily I love him more. 

To love your Dominant or not is an as difficult a question as it seems. There are things you have to ask yourself. Can he ever love you? Is that important to you? Do you trust that you can handle loving or not loving him? Does he need love or simply service? What is it in your relationship that is driving you to want to be better? 

Are you better off with his trust, honesty and giving your service? With or without love? Then you are fine. You shouldn’t need to love him if it’s just not happening. Communication is imperative here. Talk to your dominant, ask him if he wants to be loved or simply wants service and obedience. Know ahead of time. Also know things change. You may both say you don’t want love but as time goes on it may happen. Find out what that could look like- way ahead of time. Have those hard conversations. They are hard too. Sometimes so hard you melt down.  It’s okay to do that. Any dominant worth his salt can handle a meltdown or two. (Or three or four) Don’t accept “I don’t want to talk about it.”  Don’t ever accept that, On any topic. All and this is a huge ALL, good dominants a have a no hold’s barred on conversations. 

In conclusion, to love or not to love is simply a decision you two will have to do at one point. With time and trust, it becomes harder and harder to stay neutral. Feelings become your friend or enemy, but must be dealt with either way. Have many talks, enjoy each other, and let the cards fall where they may. 

Sugar. 

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