In every person, I believe there are different personas we exhibit. I happen to have perhaps more distinct personas than some people. My personality is such that I could be talking to you about something exciting and poof, you’ll see a vivacious, 12 year old personality just pop out of my body. Or you’ll tell me about the argument you had with your child and zap, you’ll meet mommy. She will support you and coddle you, giving advice and nurture you. Or I may be simply watching television and be Sugar, an adult female with distinct combination of Sophie (my nickname for my 12 year old) and Mommy.
Sometimes, I can be just Sugar and Daddy or Kitty will say something and it immediately pops me into one of my personas. Daddy calls me on it regularly. I was not cognizant of it before Daddy informed me. Today, I am much more aware of it, yet I really can’t control it, nor do I wish to control it. They are me. A total package of me. I can no more lose any of those personas then I can lose my green eyes. If I did, they would change me. A deep sadness would come over me. Depression and fear would set in.
My family (Daddy and Kitty) have not only accepted me as I am, they revel in it. They enjoy my distinct personalities and would never want me to lose them. They know as unpredictable as my personas may be, I am quite predictable in my ability to be honest, trustworthy, caring, loving and compassionate. I never waiver, even slightly, in those things. My heart is always in the right place. Of course, not being a perfect person, my emotions may get off kilter at times, (due to some left over insecurities,) but I quickly return to my own normal.
Most people have a playful side, a nurturing side and a “ground zero” side. That is the side that is there when no one is interacting with you. The side where you are alone with yourself and your thoughts. That is evident and I happen to be all of those people, even at that time. This is who I am, not who I try to be or a faćade for the world to see. It IS ME!
It is heartwarming that I have found not only a Daddy, but a sister who loves me this exact way. There isn’t any greater acceptance I could want than to be cherished for exactly who I am, including Sophie and Mommy. Thank you Daddy and Kitty for simply accepting me. Silly, extroverted, loving, advice-giving, heart-searching, creepy gifted, me. I love you both!!!