Daddy asked why him? Why do I love him? What makes him special to me. The answer although complex, is easy as well. I saw his heart. I saw his strength. I felt his fragility, I felt his needs, I knew his wants were not his needs. I was washed with his protection, nurtured by his kindness, compassion, respect, caring. I knew that I was safe with him. I could express any fears to him, and did often, but not always as respectfully as I should have. I was allowed to be flawed. I also allow him to be flawed. His honesty is refreshing and necessary for my heart to grow. It grows daily. His charms are many but they aren’t truly “charms”as in phony traits. They are gems that sprawl out before him. Humor, compassion, caring, respect for humanity, not only for his family for all people. He has exposed his heart wide open to me. Shown me a gapping hole to be plugged. He has shown me that shallowness is not welcomed. He has made me grow as a person, filled my cavern of a heart with joy, and love. It is amazing.
Each day I gain more reasons to love him. More reasons to grow closer to him. I feel him, I feel his desires and his needs. I feel his frustrations, his desires, his needs. I feel his pain and joys. They come over me when we are away from each other like waves that crash in my soul. Deep and clear waters that allow me to keep in touch with him when I don’t have contact with him. As we have stated we call that creepy gift, but truly it’s not creepy at all. It’s a gift that sparkles, shines and glimmers like sands full of diamonds. It reassures us both that we are connected no matter how far away we are. No matter what continent he is on. We take a piece of each other.
So I love you simply for being you, Daddy. Not a make believe cut out of a Daddy, not a made up character who is always right, not someone who will wisk me off into the sunset, just you. Human, flawed, adorable, loving, kind, strong, funny, silly, you. I desire nothing in return for that love, but you. You lead and I will follow. You are incapable of hurting me. I am incapable of hurting you. Isn’t that the way love is meant to be?