I will apologize ahead of time for the disjointed nature of this article. I am going to try and tackle a dodgy subject and from a pop psychology point of view. I am going send out that disclaimer ahead of time and please make your own decisions.
I have over the last few years noticed a behavior within true subs that seems to run straight and true. I would say it starts as an emotion and then manifests itself in behaviors that sometimes are on the self-destructive angle. The emotion is that of fear and pain. I would suggest that fear and pain is a driving force that manifests itself in such acts as breath play and knife other scenes and can lead to health issues and even death.
I have talked too many subs that when you really get below the surface they tend to exhibit a self fear, a neurosis, a bi-polar personality even. I discuss the fear with the women and some can pin point to an exact event such as rape, abuse or some other trauma. I have also talked to subs that have no idea where the fear and pain comes from. I try and investigate and evaluate to fully understand their fear, but in most cases I can only redirect in the moment of crisis. There is an innate fear a primal nervousness that drives subs daily life. I wanted to write to tell other subs, that they are not alone. The fear inside is natural and something to be embraced as something personal that they can also give as their gift. The gift of submission is not at all sexual and not even actionable. The love is to give the fear to their chosen Dominant. I can hear you all cry out now. I can’t give the fear away. What if they hurt me and destroy me. That leads to the dichotomy of the Sub/Dom partnership. Without that gift, you surely will never reach your full potential as a partnership.
Please understand your fear, embrace it as your own. Do not hold it to yourself, for that is surely selfish. Know it is who you are, it molds you, it is part of you. The pain is a gift; the sadness is something to give as your gift of love. I would caution you however to not live your life for the pain. Please do not mold your life around it. I would suggest rather you give it away. I will tell you a secret; the good Doms already know it’s there. We feel it as our own. The cross transference of the energy is palpable; it has substance we feel to it and yes we can almost see and taste it. I actually hunger for it at times!
I am a Daddy Dom, my job is to protect, to help grow and to reach my baby to snatch that fear away. I know your daddy will as well. Be safe be happy and know your submissiveness is a gift given to you with great responsibility. Treat it well, love it and embrace it, for without it, I surely have no purpose in my life…..