Much is always written about the wants and needs and desires of submissive women. They need care, aftercare, love, compassion, consistency, etc.etc. Well that is all true. We are needy little buggers. We need and need and need. What we don’t talk about often enough is what do Dominants need? Think about that. What is it THEY need?
Here is my take of what they need. I will ask my daddy to comment if I got most or some of it right. If I miss anything, please let me know. (Readers and Daddy!!!)
Dominants need consistency. They need to know we are there always with them. That we aren’t full of insane mood swings. They need to know that drama isn’t in our vocabulary. That what we feel is real. Anything that is off kilter to them throws their natural state askew. They question themselves. They question us. They can’t figure out what caused the sudden swing in moods. Much like a submissive they need consistency.
In addition, they need to know that we will give up our own will. That their will is easily imposed on us, that we can handle that fact. In no uncertain terms can they have two sets of wills being imposed. It doesn’t work for a good relationship with a dominant. They need us to trust that when they ask, demand or otherwise need us to do something we wouldn’t want to, that we won’t be hurt.
That brings us to the next thing they need, which is trust. Not 80 or 90% trust either, 100% trust that he will always, always have our best interest at heart. If we doubt that at all? It will never work. We will doubt everything done for us and to us. Dominants need to know we have complete trust in them. This allows them free reign over our minds and bodies. It builds strong bonds in the relationships.
Dominants need all of us. EVERYTHING we have-our hearts, minds, bodies, love, attention, our needs and our desires and most of all our fears, our darkness. It is not 100% unless they know where we have been and where we want to go. Dominants need to have all of us. Not just what we decide is worthy to give them. Giving to him your entire being. They need it all!
These incredible men also need to be fed. They need to get all the attention they need and none they don’t need. They need to enjoy what we are doing with them- to know that you are not just taking and taking, that you’re giving back to them. They need to refuel, to recharge, to be taken care of, emotionally, mentally, sexually.
Anticipation of a dominant’s needs is another one of the things he needs most. To know what he would like from you before he may even know. What he needs, how he needs it and to anticipate when enough is enough. To never over or under do your affection, to bring him what he enjoys, to give him space when he needs it. To know when to come back to him, smile on your face, excited to be able to please him. (No one said being a submissive is easy, but it is rewarding!)
He needs our protection. Protect him from anything that may happen. Maybe it is to make sure he isn’t being taken advantage of, maybe remind him he needs to take his medicine. Protect him from all harm, the same way he protects you at all times. He may even need protection from himself at times. ALWAYS provide it in a respectful and comforting way. Let him know he is the most important person in your life.
He needs us to be free from drama. From lies, from any non-truths, to be open and 100% honest. It is not okay to be full of drama to get attention. Dominants surely have enough drama in their everyday life. They don’t need ours.
They need to have us make them happy. Know what they like. A small gift now and then, perhaps. Don’t forget important occasions, Christmas, birthdays, Father’s Day, Valentine’s Day. Celebrate their lives. Celebrate their love for you. CELEBRATE THEM! Try hard to help them with their bucket list. It’s very important to think of them, they always think of you!
Dominants need to know we love them unconditionally, we adore them and they are our sunshine, our moon and stars, our life and our hearts. They need to know we are theirs, wholly, completely and without any reservations at all. It is very important they feel our love and that we could not hurt them, lie to them or deceive them in anyway, that doing so would endanger our own emotional state. If hurting your daddy would not hurt you, you have not found the proper daddy or he’s not found the correct submissive.
In conclusion, dominants need all of us, they need to know we have their best interest at heart, that we are there for them. Anticipation of their needs is imperative, knowing when to retreat is also important. They need their minds and emotional state fed. They need to have fun, to enjoy us. They need a lot of things but most of all they need our unconditional love. Never-ending, always kind and compassionate love. Love him for who he is, what he wants and how he wants it. Love him when he is hard to love, love him more at that time, knowing that when we are hard to love, he will be there holding us up.
I am far from a perfect submissive, I make and have made many mistakes. I will say I try hard to do the above at all times. I’m not always successful, but I try to give daddy what he needs and how he needs it enough to feed him, to care for him and to love him totally unconditionally. I will never stop trying to do better, be better and love him harder. He is worth all of it. He is my Daddy, I am his.