When daddy and I first met before we even uttered a word to each other, before we looked eye to eye, before we knew how this would turn out, I knew things about him I had no reason to know. I knew he was someone who had been very hurt by people. Someone who needed unconditional love. Someone who had a heart, a soul, a conscience. I knew that no matter what came out of his mouth, (which was a lot of negative self talk) there was a good, decent man with a huge hole in his heart. I told him that too. He looked at me as if I was a big bag of bull shit. I didn’t care I knew. I saw that hole and knew he needed desperately to close it. That no matter who was in his life he could not be filled with love until it was closed. I knew he needed to be understood, to be nurtured, to be loved for who he was.
I told him all of that and he was not impressed at all. (Smile) Not a bit. I was relentless. For months he told me how he was a bad man, a womanizer, and to never have feelings for him. I laughed it off, because I knew. I KNEW the truth. Nothing he could say would change my opinion. I knew what the truth was. I knew. Don’t ask me how I knew. I have no idea but I was right. Totally right. I’m not always totally right.
All that being said it doesn’t mean we don’t have some issues but I am learning and he is learning to simply communicate better. Once again, communication makes the most sense. The better we communicate, the closer we become. Sometimes it’s easier said than done. I am sometimes so angry at something he is oblivious that he’s done to hurt me that I explode. It’s becoming easier to calm down and talk about it. Sometimes it’s my own perception, sometimes he missed my feelings. Doesn’t really matter what happened, or how confused one of us is, what matters is we communicate our feelings with each other.
What is perfectly clear always is neither of us will ever be the same person again. We are stronger, happier, and think differently and have a level of protection that is indescribable. I love him, whether I am angry, hurt or happy. He loves me and even if he doesn’t remember something I told him or not, he realizes we were meant to simply communicate and move forward.
I love you daddy, I feel you. And thank you for always listening to me, and I am getting better and growing stronger in my communication skills. You are learning. I am can be strong and yet still be a submissive. I am your submissive, I am your friend and your lover. I am and will be here for you. I am learning and we are learning. Nothing better than growing together.
All my love and appreciation,