In this crazy lifestyle, there are lots of different types of submissives. I’ve addressed some of those in this blog previously. We have the standard bedroom submissive, the slave, the I will follow anyone submissive, online only submissiveness (we call them the romance novel submissives) and of course the 50 shaders (who read a few books and think it’s kinky sexy that makes one a submissive.) Someone wrote about a warrior submissive, which is another breed as well. I think if all those types, like breeds of dogs. Some are small, some are large, but yes, they are dogs.
None of those adequately talk about me. I’m a totally different type. Still a breed, maybe more of a true mutt of a submissive. I can easily be a bedroom submissive, the kinky sexy is fun. It’s exhilarating and it’s sexy. I like the physical end of this lifestyle. It’s great fun. I can also be a romantic submissive. I love the romantic aspect of being daddy’s submissive and all that conjures in one’s mind. But the truth is that is the fluff and the easy part. Getting my ass turned from white to red is fun! It’s not, however my true submission.
It’s hard work. It’s dirty, gritty, blind trust. It’s all about trust. It’s the realization that he holds your heart, and you hold his, and that your submission doesn’t develop fully until you have 100% trust that he will not hurt you. That if he does hurt you, that you can forgive him for being less than perfect. That he can forgive you when your insecurities cause you to melt down. That he realizes you’re not perfect and that is okay, too. That sometimes you open old wounds (sometimes decades old) and you hurt all over again from things beyond your control. That when push comes to shove, you will focus on what is true submission in your lives-to you and to your dominant. This may be different to everyone. You will need to focus on the life ahead of you and make sure you realize that you have his best interest at heart and know, truly feel, that he will have your best always at heart. To feel that deep in your soul, in your heart, to assure that nothing can shake that feeling. Although, truth be told, you will be shaken at times. You will be afraid. You will have fears. And it’s okay to be afraid, but it’s not okay to hold on to them. You can’t decide to take back your fears and shove them down deeper and deeper. I think of my fears as balloons. Balloons that are blown up and I hold them, tightly sometimes, until daddy comes and talks to me and slowly I hand each of the fear ballons to him and watch them float away. Poof, gone. Floating slowly into the sky, disappearing and reassuring me that all is well and that daddy loves me deeper than the ocean, higher than the sky.
Calm ensues and then you simply feel foolish for questioning his need and desire for you. You are always acutely aware that he holds the keys to the cabinet that holds all the utensils to cut you to shreds. He also holds the keys to the cabinet that holds your happiness. And you also hold his keys to the same cabinets. We are not the only ones who can be hurt. You both have to trust that the cabinet of pain and hurt stays locked away like Pandora’s box, with the keys safely stowed away. The cabinet of joyousness is always open and joy flows out like syrup from a maple tree.
I have vowed to protect him from anyone and anything that is harmful-sometimes, from himself. Yet, try as hard as I may, it’s not always possible. Doesn’t mean I won’t stop trying, or I will ever give up. I will be there to dress his wounds and kiss his pains. And he will do the same for me. Everything I say here is for us both. We are intertwined. Sometimes, it’s hard to see where one heart starts and one ends. We fight for us. We fight for each other in the world of insanity.
I love you Daddy, deeply wholly and completely. I am different, I am your warrior, you are mine. I am flawed and you have accepted that imperfection. And I have embraced your flaws as well. We are real, living breathing people. One happens to lead and one follows, both love and protect. It grows deeper and more beautiful daily.
So I am not like everyone else. I am me. A wholly, uniquely, loving warrior who happens to be a submissive to my daddy. A submissive who is sometimes a scared little girl who has fears and insecurities and needs reassurances from the one man on earth she has no reason to fear at all.
Thank you for being a man who can calm my little girl and strengthen her into the fiercest of warriors of all time, next to you, of course!
I love you.