Submission or Doormat?

screen-shot-2016-11-14-at-11-02-07-pmThink about this-I don’t change who I am. At times, I am a doormat and far too obedient to people I have no business obeying. Friends who take advantage, relatives who take and take, a spouse who is abusive, even strangers who push their will on me. I have been called “too nice,” I have acted too nice. It’s okay, I get it. I am a submissive. I am a natural follower and caregiver. I nurture. I keep people happy. I feel most at home in this role. It’s natural for me to want to make everyone happy.

This doesn’t mean I can’t lead. I can. I am a proficient and kind-hearted leader. I am bright and empathetic. I have some good ideas; as well as, some not so great ones. I can be a strength and a force. I enjoy using my creativity. I see value in being the person with the ideas. It took me a very long time to get to this point in life. Sometimes, I am forced to be a dominant leader. It’s what needs to be done. I am the only person who can handle it. I don’t love this role. Dominance is so much more natural for other people. You would think I would be used to taking the dominant leadership role. Nothing can be farther from the truth. I would rather follow what you need or desire than have my own desires.

I do have times when I need something. I will fight for what I truly believe and need. My wants always come second to my dominants. Always. I trust that he will look after my wants and needs, as I take care of his wants and needs. This works well when I have a dominant man I can follow. I can blindly follow him and feel secure that I am safe and sound. I know this feeling is so very comforting and secure.

Unfortunately, not all men are true dominants. They are domineering. They don’t think at all of your needs-what is good for you. They don’t care. They continue to force their often whimsical desires on you. They are abusive, they are demanding. This is where I have always gotten into trouble. And I believe many other submissives do as well. They respond as a submissive. They feel and act like this is normal behavior. Unfortunately, this is a vast mistake. It’s a very dangerous mistake. You become a doormat. It’s obvious to everyone who knows you. You begin to be fearful. It feels very wrong. It is scary as hell. You can’t seem to do enough to make them happy. Feels like you’re a hamster on a wheel. Nothing is good enough. You try harder and harder. Your self-esteem plummets and you can’t imagine ever being good enough. Your submission is abused. Yet you can’t seem to stop trying to please and it’s never good enough. You have become a doormat, a whipping post, someone to kick when they feel badly.

Embrace your submission. Choose very carefully. Don’t rush into anything. If it feels badly, it is. Don’t make excuses for people’s behavior. If you are a doormat, pick your self up and run. You are a beautiful submissive. You are not supposed to be a doormat. I can’t stress enough, CHOOSE CAREFULLY. If you find yourself making excuse after excuse for someone else’s behavior? You are being hood winked. Run-don’t walk.

I am one of the lucky ones. I have found my own true dominant who is far from abusive. Far from the domineering men from my past. I am allowed to be my true, loving submissive self. And he can be the dominant man he is naturally.

I chose carefully, (finally, this time)

Love you, Daddy,

Sugar

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2 thoughts on “Submission or Doormat?

  1. nice writing, very good article. Submission is a difficult thing to fully understand. I would say its a curse on one hand and a gift on the other. I am glad you found your mentor

    Liked by 2 people

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