I am a submissive who lives to please. I love to please. I try hard to please. It’s in my nature to please. I know, a whole lot of pleasing is going on. Why then, am I not pleasing my own daddy? What is going wrong in my life? Why am I all fuzzy brained and screwing up daddy’s wishes? It’s been very difficult for me. I’ve been emotional, pushing boundaries, and being a tad bratty. Okay maybe more than a tad. Daddy has been more than understanding and more than kind and nurturing with me. I finally calmed down enough to talk to him about my behavior. I actually admitted calmly that I had a problem and I didn’t know what was wrong and I needed help. I am usually good with others issues, feeling my way through what the problems they have or how they are truly feeling. Why can’t I do that for myself? I was baffled.
I told daddy, I realized I was being a crappy submissive. I had lost my normal obedience, I didn’t know exactly what the problem was but I was going to correct it. I didn’t need to be told, I didn’t need to be “punished,” I didn’t need correction, I needed to understand what the hell was going on in my head. I had lost my focus. I had misplaced my priority. I have a lot of people in my life. I have daddy’s friends, my sister, friends, children, a spouse, work acquaintances-just a lot of people to please. I tried to please everyone, EVERY ONE…Every single person in my life. Now that is simply impossible. So I was forgetting to prioritize who I was to please. I treated everyone as equals. I was going to please them all… I just was. I don’t have to tell you the results of that fiasco. I pleased NO ONE, especially not daddy, and even not myself. I was a freaking mess!
Luckily, I thought long and hard how to talk calmly to daddy and how to approach him and what to ask him. I had a script in my head, I didn’t use it. I simply woke up and knew what I needed to say to him. I just admitted I didn’t want to keep displeasing him. That I could and would get better. That I was trying to figure out what the problem was in my own submission. He calmly said he knew what the problem was, no drama, no blaming, no making me feel small. I was simply trying to please too many people, and I was not prioritizing in the correct order. I was not making his wishes first. I was trying so hard to please everyone, I was forgetting my daddy’s wishes. It calmed my brain, gave me the clarity I needed and gave me the encouragement I so wanted. I felt whole again.
Thank you for loving me, thank you for being a loving daddy, thank you for raising me up higher and not degrading me. That’s a true dominant’s role-and no one does it better.
I love you deeply and completely,