Digital Informational Resources about BDSM

I scour the internet tremendously to find new resources. Daddy does the same. We have found some very cool podcast programs that are very thought provoking and informative.

One of them that Daddy found is “The Fearless Submissive.” The  host of that show is Julie R and she’s amazing. The other one I  discovered is “Loving BDSM,” with Kayla Lords and John Brownstone who bring a different spin on the relationship aspect of BDSM. Kayla also has a blog that is Kayla Lords Blog All of the podcast hosts can be found on Fetlife and they are very approachable and knowledgeable.

One of the shows Julie had talked about how poly brings out some of the self doubts in naturally self doubting submissive. Kayla also discussed something similar on the self doubts of submissives who think they are too much, or not enough. They shows are between 30-60 minutes and easy to listen to and digest. They make you think and they make you aware that, first and foremost, you are not alone. Your feelings and your insecurities are shared by many, many submissives and they are natural. They are not necessarily healthy, mind you, but they are common and able to be over come.

I will be investigating more of both of their podcasts in addition to finding more for our family. It allows some of my feelings become acceptable to Me and I can share them more easily knowing I’m not alone, I’m not crazy, I am not that odd. Knowing these things has helped me step back, examine my feelings and emotions and have the ability to discuss things with Daddy calmly and without a full blown temper trantrum or shoving down fear until I can’t sleep. (I’ve been known to do both trying to avoid doing the other one LOL)

A real example of this came when Daddy changed his good night to me/us. Every night Daddy says Good Night love you to my sister and me. Every night without fail, unless there is a bizarre occurrence, which is rare and we usually understand knowing what’s going on in his life. Well, one night following some poor behavior on my part he just said good night. I didn’t sleep well but I tried hard to let it go. It happened again and did for a week or so. So I knew that either I asked him about it calmly or I was going to have a melt down from fear that his feelings had somehow changed. My 12 year old brain was always looking for signs that I was no longer loved. That wasn’t anything daddy knew or realized or did he? I was driving myself nutty. So calmly and with some background on how I know sometimes he just doesn’t realize he does this and sometimes things are very well thought out, I asked him. He was surprised and didn’t realize it at all and he was quite proud of me for not jumping into a panic mode and simply asking a question and being quite calm.

I am always learning and exploring how to be better, act better and be more of the kind of submissive I desire to be. Daddy and I are growing and sometimes there are growing pains sometimes and other times there are growth spurts that are smooth transitions. The more introspective and the more I learn about myself the easier I find it to not be reactive but much more proactive in my conversations and ask more questions calmly. I know Daddy appreciates that very much.

Please let me know if you have found a podcast or publication you enjoy. I always enjoy learning and exploring. Let me know if you’ve enjoyed those two podcasts as well.

Thank you Daddy for encouraging me to learn about myself and about you. I am always a better person for it.

I love you, always and forever,

Sugar.

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