How to Weed the Domly Garden (Hints to Know if He’s the Real Deal)

Many times when investigating any BDSM lifestyles, newly interested submissive finds a Dominant that is willing and appears to know what to do, they jump into the sub frenzy that often occurs when a newly born submissive discovers they are subs. They listen to every single thing the Dominant type man has to say. They have no idea if the man is truly educated in BDSM and worthy of their submission. Yes. You heard that correctly. They must be worthy. You can not ever assume that they are worthy of holding your own sense of self. By that I mean when you give your trust to a Dominant  they have the ability to harm you physically, emotionally and mentally. Be certain that they have earned the right to hold that power. Be certain that the power exchange that you engage in with them is a healthy one. 

I’ve said this and daddy has said this as well, a dominant should always, always have your best interest at heart. Even if what you do pleases him, even if what you do is pushing your limits, even if you are uncomfortable with what he asks you to do, you must be comfortable enough to trust that he knows what is best for you and how to guide you from that uncomfortable feeling and growth.  

Never take for granted that the man you are trusting is able to do that at first sight. Some of the ways you can weed out the false Dominants are first and foremost listen. If when you first meet them they demand you call them master, RUN. DON’T WALK. They are not your master. I’d even go as far as to say you don’t have to call them Sir yet, but I have met some truly awesome dominants that will ask that rather quickly. Also if your hard limits receive a scoffing of “a real sub wouldn’t say no to me.” RUN. They aren’t your anything when you first meet them. You don’t have to give them anything but polite respect that you would give anyone. Everything else they have to earn. There doesn’t have to be any sexual activity at all. As a matter of fact, I had a hard and fast rule. No playing of any kind on the first meeting. Why? Because I am easily talked into doing anything to please people. I have felt so low and so cheap I needed self rules. That was one of them. If a man can’t wait to get to know you better, he is not anything you need to be worried about. 

You also have to earn their dominance. You need to show them that even though you may be new, you are serious about learning. A good dom will slowly take your proverbial “hand” and guide you along the way. His teaching will feel amazing if this is who you are truly meant to be. Not everyone is a submissive. Even if the sexual kink is amazing to you, even if you enjoy being spanked, could be you’re simply a bottom and enjoy that aspect of the lifestyle. That’s amazing in and of itself. 

My biggest joys in life are pleasing the people I love. I light up like a Christmas tree. I am happier than I would be than if they pleased me. A simple “good girl” sends chills down my spine. Knowing I have pleased my daddy is like Christmas morning to me. 

I am quite lucky to have found a man who has not only earned my respect but my admiration and my love. I trust him so much, he may do anything at all to me. I am 100% positive he isn’t doing it to hurt me. We aren’t perfect people, but we are good, kind people who love deeply and we care. 

I love you daddy, 

Your very own Sugar! 


3 thoughts on “How to Weed the Domly Garden (Hints to Know if He’s the Real Deal)

  1. Hi. I’ve just come across your blog and am enjoying reading random posts. Your comment here about getting chills down your spine when being called a Good Girl. Soooo agree. I’m still amazed how those two words make me feel. Sigh. ๐Ÿ˜ถ ๐Ÿ˜Š

    Liked by 1 person

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