Feelings of the Heart (or Lack Of)

Screen Shot 2018-04-16 at 1.15.15 AMWhen I was a young teenager, I had a gorgeous male cousin, named Ralph. Now Ralph was the guy that all the girls wanted attention from and they flirted so much with him. He liked a lot of them and had his share of women. Problem for me was they used me to get to him. They would befriend me and call me and want to see me, just to have a chance to see him. It wasn’t immediately evident. I was young and outgoing, not as wise as I would grow to be. The problem for them was Ralph was gay, which is funny because he really was with more women sexually than most straight men. (In all actuality he was probably bisexual.)

Advance decades: I couldn’t quite put my finger on the odd feeling that women who try to join us gave me. Now I have. They have been using me to get to my daddy. I get that, I understand but it is the same creepy feeling I had years ago. He’s a remarkable and kind, handsome, loving man. Very desirable, but they don’t know him well. They think they do, but he’s more than what they think. MUCH MORE!

If I can equate what it’s like for Daddy and me, I will say it’s similar to a divorced single father. If you want my Daddy, you have to love me as well. Not superficially, not when it is convenient, not because you should or have to, because you do.

So I will have to stop my strong desire to please everyone, and focus on Daddy. I am backing off from them all. They are not truly interested in me as a love interest, just in me being a bridge to Daddy-Not much more than a paramour. Which is not what either of us want.

It will take them awhile to understand and to see that I’ve backed way off. That’s the telling part. It’s the part they won’t truly notice or care about.

Daddy, you are right that I am trying to please everyone. It is simply who I am. I am going to focus on you and me. And to help you in anyway I can. The rest will all work itself out.

Hugs and love and kisses,



2 thoughts on “Feelings of the Heart (or Lack Of)

  1. Lots will come into our lives as we travel our journey. Some are like guest actors, they come read their lines and play the part laid out for them. Then one day they will be gone as suddenly as they arrived. The key is to not try and stem the tide, but rather ride the wave back to the shore.



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