Guess what? He’s not perfect! He makes mistakes. He’s not going to save you from yourself. He’s not going to make your life perfect. You will still have to do the same things you have always had to do. You’ll go to work, clean, take care of your family, do chores, go shopping, and even, get mad at him. You will have to learn that he is flawed. Yep, that’s right, he’s flawed, and yes, he doesn’t like to admit it. Not at all. When he makes a mistake, he will try his damnedest to give you a “reason” why it happened. Stand up to him. It’s okay. You can be strong. If he is to trust you, and not treat you as a doormat, you have to stand up to him, but… be respectful. Tell him you’re hurt, why you’re hurt and explain that he’s better than that. Make him feel like his mistake was just that, a mistake, not a life sentence, not punishable by death. Let him live it down. Let him keep his dominance, and right his wrong. A good Dominant will admit his wrongdoings, a great one will fix them. Give him space. It may take a while for him to admit he made a mistake. Be gracious in accepting his apology or admittance of wrongdoing. Talk to him about why he did x, y, z. He may have a reason, he may not but whatever happens, allow him to have dignity.
He’s not going to save you from yourself. He can’t save you from your own insecurities. He can’t make you suddenly perfect. He can’t change the way you feel about yourself. He can tell you a hundred times what he feels about you, but if you don’t believe in your worth- guess what? You will still not believe him-not even the 110th time. You need to work on you. Be the best you, you can be. He will take care of being the best him he can be. He can’t make you change how you feel about him. Right or wrong, he will always lead you and care for you, but he can’t truly change you. One person can do that and only one. YOU! He can, however, give you structure. He can give you consistency and lead you to put together a plan that you may need to change something you’re not happy with your life. Maybe you want to lose weight or start working out. He can give you an incentive or punishment to help you get started and stay on track. Maybe, you want to learn how to cook his favorite pie, or breakfast. He can show you or find you a recipe for it.
Dominants are not Gods, they are people. They like to lead, they may or may not be sadists, but they are real, breathing people. They have the same issues we all do. They have worries, and fears of the unknown. They need your support in their endeavors. Dominants are amazing when they are focused. You can help them maintain that focus. Notice I didn’t say nag. Nagging isn’t at all what they need. That’s annoying and truly not submissive like at all. I have tried to help my Daddy stay in touch with family. I set reminders on my calendar to ask him if he has called his sister lately. Then he’s in control of it, not me. It’s in the wording of what you say and the intonation. Am I perfect? Do I make mistakes and say all the wrong things, and all the wrong ways? Hell, yes! More than I care to admit. Daddy doesn’t let me go on those big things. he will call me on the BS. (as well as I will call him on his!)
I am one of the luckiest submissives alive. I have a daddy who will admit his mistakes. Maybe not immediately, and maybe he won’t like swallowing that bitter pill, but eventually, he will admit his mistakes. I have communicated that if I know he understands why I am upset and can acknowledge what role he played in my being upset, I will be able to drop the whole thing and move on. Life is easier for all of us. In reverse, I can’t blame him for my shortcomings. I must ask his forgivness and try hard not to recreate my wrongs.
I am not perfect, he is not perfect either, but together we can be perfect for each other. I love you daddy and each and every day I thank God and the heavens above for allowing me to find a man who can help me, lead me, and bring out the best in my, and never my worst.
My heart is yours, my love is eternal.
Hugs and Kisses,