Love Can’t Fix Everything 

This post isn’t so much about BDSM or D/s. It is however poignant to my relationship. I simply adore, love and otherwise revere my daddy in so many ways. He’s kind loving and my personal hero. I have been abuse in the past and it has hurt me. My spouse is a narcissist and functions that way. Daddy can protect me but so far, as I can protect him but so far from abusive people in his life. He can help me, guide me and give me security,  but he can’t change me. Only I can change me. 

I see the value of therapy. Not groups therapy, family counseling, or marital counseling, simply me therapy. Focusing on me. I am doing very well and gaining insight into what makes me submissive, although that isn’t the focus actually. The focus is on why I find it hard to say no, why it bothers me to not do something someone else asks of me, that I just don’t want to do. I am not speaking about my daddy but others in my life who are always asking me to do things for them. 

It will never change who I am, but it may help me not feel so badly when I finally get the courage to say stop asking me to help you all the time. I am a work in progress and will one day be finished with all the guilt over saying no. Maybe. Maybe not but it sure feels good to be able to talk to someone and gain insight into why I have the right to say no and not feel badly. 

No one not dominant, not spouse, not children nor boyfriend has the right to be abusive and force any of the 4 Ds (disease, distress, distrust, or damage) onto you. If they do, they are not in love with you, they are not your dominant and they are not your boyfriend/girlfriend , they are parasites who live off of you and manipulate you. 

Just my 2¢ and it’s a good lesson to learn as early as possible. 

I am a very lucky and happy baby girl that I have a Daddy who would not dream of causing me harm in any way. Our communication is always open and getting angry is allowed ,as well as any emotions. Brattiness and emotional outbursts are not however. I can live with that and appreciate my guidelines and rules. They keep me grounded. 

Thank you for being a wonderful daddy and the love of my life, daddy. 

Big kisses,

Sugar

True Submissives Need Love and Care

I wanted to write a response on the front page in reply to sugars post.  I have found true submissives to be the rarest petal of the rarest flower.  There are truly not very many true born submissives.  The last 5 years have yielded but a mere handful of true subs, that I have found and chatted with  I would suggest to Sugar the following  about her 4 D’s hypothesis. The 4 d’s rules are absolutely correct. Does not a small child take care of his/her very fav toy. What little girl does not cut her fav dolls hair, being very carful not to cut it all. I remember playing with my most fav bike. I fell off that thing and skinned my knee a dozen times. I always got back on the bike and learned to master riding it. I would never ride it to hard or to fast. I would never take it out in the rain or if I did I made sure I washed and oiled the pedals. I believe once you have something you treasure you learn how to play with it correctly, you learn as much about it as possible, to give it the care it deserves. The last thing is when given a rare beautiful gift it comes with great responsibility and the utmost care must be afforded it.

Daddy…

Dominants Have Rules, Too!

Screen Shot 2017-08-17 at 1.09.19 AMSometimes people hear that daddy is dominant. People automatically assume that means he can do anything he wants at any time.  At first glance, that is true, but only partially true. Dominants have a plethora of things to worry about. So very many, it can be overwhelming. First and foremost, he can’t do anything that isn’t in the best interest of his submissive. Now, he’s not always perfect, no one is, but 99% of the time Daddy does everything he does to help me in some way. Sometimes it’s whether I  like it or not.

It appears vanilla people think that he can do anything to us and most of them think of hot, steamy, kinky, sex. Truthfully, he can do anything to us sexually he wants as long as it falls under the umbrella of “keeping our best interest at heart.” What that means is (and I may be graphic here) he won’t do anything that would hurt me or my sister in any way that would cause The 4 Ds -Damage, Disease, Distress (mental or emotional) or Distrust. So that dark fantasy of seeing one of us swallowing 5 strangers cum after a BJ? Eh… Not happening! Making one of us cross our hard limits for his own amusement? Nope- not happening either. Playing with strangers with no condoms? Nope-absolutely not happening. Daddy and I are fluid bonded… everyone else, nope-not happening.  Meeting new submissives without discussing it with us? Nope-not ever happening. It is the avoidance of the 4 Ds that makes these things not happen. We don’t’ sit and say Daddy here are 20 rules we absolutely won’t do- we simply discuss anything he’s thinking and we decide as a family what is acceptable or not.

You get the idea. Yes, he can do anything he wants to us. Anything, that won’t cause one of the 4 Ds! He can push our limits- not break them.  He can cause us to be uncomfortable. He can enjoy us to his fullest and he can take us whenever and wherever he chooses, but remember the 4 Ds? He will be looking out to make sure we have the proper time and place so there is no distress caused by his decisions. So yes, he can do anything he chooses, but he knows he must keep our best interest at heart. That is what makes him such a wonderful dominant.

One thing he does well is pushing limits. I once had a terrible, horrible, experience playing with two men (not with my Daddy.)  It started out fine and turned very sour. The man I was with up and left and I, being my submissive self, got stuck with someone I didn’t know, and I was so afraid. Nothing terrible happened but I wound up doing things I didn’t really feel comfortable doing. (Long ass story) So that has left a bad taste in my mouth. Jump to today and Daddy, Kitty and I went to a really cool swinger’s club. Daddy asked me to fuck one of the guys there. I was scared but I was okay because I knew 1. Daddy would never, ever put me in harm’s way. 2. My sister and Daddy wouldn’t leave my side. 3. I knew I was safe and if I wasn’t there wouldn’t be a quicker man to step in to protect me. Never was I in any type of danger and I wound up having the most fantastic time! It was amazing. I had a blast! So Daddy stayed within the 4 Ds and I was not only fine, I was excited., (Although I may have looked like a scared 12-year-old, I was more nervous than afraid! LOL)

I, not only had a great time, Kitty had a wonderful time, and Daddy was so pleased with us. He was proud of us and the other people even commented on how great we all were. They said what a great Dom he was and how he showed so much concern and we were so well trained.  He made sure we were safe, having fun and well taken care of. We were happy and smiling and we all had a kinky fun time, but as always Daddy stayed within The 4 Ds.

So yes, Daddy being dominant, can do anything he wants but those rules of following The 4 Ds are always at the forefront of his actions. So yes, Dominants have rules too. Dominants have the enormous job of making sure we are safe, that his wishes, kinks, and fantasies are carried out with The 4 Ds in mind. I am an extremely happy, unbelievably lucky baby girl. I have a family who would never let me fall prey to anything harmful to me. I know that we will always, always protect each other, rain or shine. I love them with all my heart.

Daddy, I am honored, proud and humbled to be your submissive baby girl. I hope I made you proud of me today. Kitty, I am blessed to have such a caring and wonderful sister. I don’t know why I am so lucky in this life. I must have been a very good girl sometime in this life to have such a great family.

I love you, Daddy and Kitty, you rock!
All my love and devotion,

Yours,

Sugar

 

What’s Love Got to Do With It?(to love or not to love your D/s partner)

So not loving my dominant is actually not an option for me. I am not a bottom only submissive. When I enter into this lifestyle, I do so with my heart on my sleeve. That’s why it is so important for me to choose well. I need to be able to trust my dominant. I need to be able to find his strengths and also his weaknesses, to make sure I can trust him. I need to see his heart and soul and know they are good. I need to know they need love, even if they don’t always want love. Love is something that comes naturally from a bond in BDSM. It flows like water through a hose. 

When I met Daddy, we didn’t start out loving each other. Actually, I was the last person on earth he wanted to love. Need to love?– well that was another story. I was stable and consistent. And yes, after a few months, I knew I loved him. He was a tad uncomfortable with this, but I believe, he thought it was a phase and would pass. It wasn’t any phase of course and he learned to see through my words and actions always matching, that I truly did love him. Not only that, he slowly grew to love me. It wasn’t instantly. It wasn’t recklessly, it was guardedly and with much reservation. I didn’t care. I said to him, “I love you regardless of your love. Just keep my best interests in your forefront of your heart.” 

There are many types of love anyway. I was his no matter what, regardless of his “love.” I wasn’t going anywhere and we had time. Love? Well, that could wait. We were developing a close friendship and admiration for each other. That was enough for me at the time. And actually, I do believe love snuck up on him. He wasn’t expecting to learn things from me. Things he never really understood. Things like what true intimacy looked like, what giving of yourself unconditionally, that actions need to match words, that someone could love him with her whole heart. 

I, in turn, learned valuable lessons also.I learned that I could trust someone to protect me, that I had value, that I could be myself, that it was okay to be 12 sometimes. I was lovable. I was loveable? I was lovable!

 It was a lesson I won’t ever forget. I have value and I am lovable. Wow! It seems so silly for anyone to think that they have no value, but years of abuse and abandonment have taken their toll on my psyche. 

So love? It is intregel to my BDSM relationship. I can’t imagine life without trusting and loving a dominant and calling him Daddy. I almost never call him by his given name. When I do, I’m being silly. And when I’m angry or upset or I am being very submissive, and sometimes just respectful, I call him Sir. I am always his baby girl. I am always his submissive. I am his best friend, lover and submissive.  And the key word there is HIS. I am always, simply his. 

I won’t tell anyone they need to love their Dom. It’s not a requirement but it is often a byproduct of the trust factor in a BDSM relationship. I happened to see something inside of daddy and he saw something inside of me that drew us to love each other. That special unconditional love that shows us our weak underbellies. That kind that hands us the razor to cut us deeply but trusts we simply won’t do that. This type of love is rare and just delicious. 

I love you daddy, and I am yours. 

Kisses and hugs,

Sugar

Knowing What Type of BDSM-D/s Relationship You Desire

img_1222There are so many different types of BDSM relationships, from 24/7 slaves with little control to occasional bottoms in the bedroom, it’s really hard to know where on the continuum we fit. There are strict Gorean Doms, and nurturing Daddy Doms, as well as everything in between.  There are S and M relationships, and simply D/s relationships. How can you know without knowing what you would like. Once again, as always, it’s communication. If you haven’t found a dominant, then now is the time to think about this. What is it you truly want? What fits with your life? What fits with your kink, and what is it you need?

I knew, almost from the beginning, that I needed nurturing. I spent hours in chat rooms. Why? To simply talk to people and see what I liked and needed. What made me feel good about everything and myself. What turned me on and was easy for me to live with. I am more of a natural submissive, (if you want to call it that,) I was always this way. I liked being nurtured. I have some mild to moderate masochistic tendencies, and I like pleasing. So my masochistic tendencies are much more heightened if I please Daddy. I am much more than a bottom, actually, BDSM sex is like the icing on the cake. I am this way. I thrive on pleasing. Whether with my friends, or my Daddy or my job. I like to please. The simple words, “Good Girl,” send chills down my spine. When Daddy laughs and we both are silly, I can’t be happier. When we go on fun little adventures, I am the happiest. Just fun things, but I try very hard to be a good submissive. Good for Daddy, I may not be good for anyone else’s Dominant, however. And that is the point. a D/s relationship is no different than a vanilla one. You have to find the right dominant. You can’t simply say ” Oh I want a Dominant.” and Poof they magically appear and are perfect.

So think about what it is you crave, but do yourself a favor- don’t romanticize this too much. There are no handsome princes ready to whisk you off on their white horse and save the poor damsel in distress. There are, however, so wonderful dominants who care, who are wise and who have a good heart and soul. Always choose the dominant who has your best interest at heart. And it’s not a one-way street, they need your protection as well. You also need a dominant who is able to say, “I made a mistake.” (Although getting that out of them may be a tad dodgy.) They’re not Gods and they are fallible. You can’t put them on pedestals and when they make a mistake, you fault them for being a bad Dom. Let me repeat this over and over again. WE ARE ALL HUMAN AND MAKE MISTAKES. There are no perfect people-no perfect dominants, no perfect submissives. So if they make a mistake, (here’s that C word again) Communicate. Daddy often tells us to OVER communicate. It’s hard sometimes, but the more we do, the easier it is. And that communication will allow them to understand what you did wrong, but also what they did wrong, as well.

The best thing I think about our relationship is our understanding that we can talk about anything and everything. We can make mistakes, (yes, I do get punished for them at times, depending on their severity) and we can survive those mistakes. We can discuss why we made that mistake and we can over-come them and try hard not to keep making the same ones. We can bounce back and return to our normal. Our normal may be quite different from your normal, however. And that is the whole point. Find someone you feel comfortable with who you can be happy with in and out of the bedroom. This is much more fulfilling in my book if you can have other interests and enjoy each other without the kink, as well as with the kink. Daddy and I try to do lots of non-kink activities as well as kinky ones, too.

Write down your top 10 wants in a dominant. Then put the 3 you need. Those are the qualities you need to look for in your dom. You can live without all of the wants. You can’t live without the needs. Finding a male dominant should be easy giventhere are about a hundred “doms” to one submissive, but alas, it’s not. There are many imposters, trying to get a quick, easy piece of ass. There are abusive men who are not interested in anything but hurting you and leaving you. There are men who aren’t dominant at all, they are controlling abusers and will only think of themselves. Stay away from them.

Remember, as a submissive you are responsible for making sure you are making good choices. Choose wisely. When in doubt, ask yourself, if a friend were dating this man would you think he was a good guy? Don’t sell yourself short. There are good men out there, but you have to look and most of all KNOW WHAT YOU WANT! As him what his top 3 needs are from you, as well. You may see they are totally different than you could imagine or similar to your needs. It is your responsibilty to choose well. No one, not a dominant or even your own mother can do that for you. Your choices matter in the long term. Choose wisely.

To my Daddy who makes all my poor choices seem silly now, I love you, and we are on the same page. I have needed you for a long time. You are proof that sometimes, (when you least expect it) dreams do come true.

My love and devotion,

Sugar

 

How to Stay Safe When Meeting a New Dominant For The First Time or Vetting Out the Imposters

img_4417So how do you protect yourself? I mean really protect you.  When you’re a new submissive meeting maybe your first dominant man after talking online, how do you make sure you actually come home in one piece? I am going to give you some tips and tricks I have used. And many are used in the community.

First, have someone who will know where you are. Don’t ever meet anyone without a trusted friend who doesn’t know where you are and what time you will contact them or they will contact you at a specific time. Use code words as well. So say have you heard from _____? As maybe a code phrase that you need help. Make sure you make some contact with them to say to I’m okay or I need help at a specific time. This works well and keeps you safe.

Secondly, never meet in private or in a desolate place. If your dominant-to-be doesn’t like that, run as fast as you can. Why? Because first and foremost he must always have your best interest at heart. If he wouldn’t allow his sister or daughter to meet someone there, he shouldn’t want you to either.

Thirdly, I never play on first meeting. Never. Ever. Many people may not have this rule but being my submissive self, I get into trouble when I break this rule. I always let my dominant-to-be know this. See rule 2 if he disagrees. You have time. You’re not going to disappear in a minute. Coffee or a drink, maybe even dinner or lunch is fine but keep it shorter and simple. Gives you much-needed processing time to see how you truly feel.

In addition, talk to them. Ask questions. Get to really know them. Find out what they like to eat, their favorite teams, what is the oddest thing they ever encountered, and my favorite vetting question- what is the darkest most deviant thing you would want to do real time? Go along with it. Even say that’s good. Cool. Why? Because their darkest kinky thing that puts you in danger, you will know that they just aren’t the right person for you. They aren’t keeping your best interest at heart. If it puts your health or well being in danger then don’t say much, just leave soon and don’t go back. Remember a good and loving dominant doesn’t ever want his toys broken. Ever. He respects and cares for them. Additionally, know what you want. I mean truly know. If you want a 24/7 lifestyle, and he wants a scene once in awhile, this isn’t going to work. If you are both on the same page- great. If not, no harm walk away

Additionally, know what you want. I mean truly know. If you want a 24/7 lifestyle, and he wants a scene once in awhile, this isn’t going to work. If you are both on the same page- great. If not, no harm- walk away

Also, use your gut instinct. Listen to what he says to you, but watch his actions. If he appears to only be interested in a quick fuck, (of course not on the day you meet.) decide if that’s what you truly want. If he just wants play time, that’s fine but know what you can handle and what you can’t. I don’t like only play time. It would never work for me. For me, there has to be a tight bond, emotional bond, the possibility to be loved, at least that at a minimum.

The real issue here is to always allow yourself processing time, meeting in a safe public place, and know what you want. Keep your gut instincts and spidey senses keenly aware. Feel and see any red flags. And above all else, use your innate common sense. If it feels creepy, it IS creepy. Don’t set off alarms there. Wait till you’re safe at home, then politely tell him it won’t work out. Ghosting is not really my style,  but if you’re that afraid so be it. Safety is your main concern- physical and emotional safety.

I was lucky and knew instantly that Daddy was right. We even bantered and mildly argued, but something about him I instinctively knew this was a good man. He had a good heart and soul. I could trust him. I was right. And still, do.

I love you, Daddy, more today than yesterday and less than tomorrow.

With Much Love,

Sugar

Insecurity Hurts Everyone

Without going into WHY I had a total meltdown, I am going to discuss what insecurity does to my relationship with Daddy. It’s very detrimental. It erodes our trust in each other. It makes our relationship weak and cheap. By cheap I mean it appears it can be tossed away in a flash in the pan. That is so far from the truth. It is not cheap at all. It is solid and golden and rare. My insecurities are the cause of cracks in our gold. Luckily, Daddy and I are able to melt my fears and always like a weeble, Hes able help me bounce back up.

My insecurity makes me feel like I am not worthy of love, it makes Daddy insecure in who I am as his submissive and friend. It takes me to a frenzy that is very detrimental to my health, to my well being and to Daddy’s own worth to me. Yet, for all the harm it does to me, it was small compared to what it did to us-as a family, as an entity. I love my family, I love my life with them. I am worthy of a good life, that includes them.

We are worth fighting for, we are worth never even considering throwing in a towel, we are worth being distinctly clear about what is hurting us and why. I will never, ever threaten to throw in the towel again. I will not have an excuse, I will not be over reactive, and if I am I will not assume I am not wanted or that I am not valued. I will clearly and as calmly as possible say why I am hurt, what I feel, what I see happening. I will not assume anything. I will not assume Daddy’s emotional state towards me. I will not assume anything. I am not allowed to cheapen myself or my role in Daddy’s life. To do that cheapens me and cheapens our relationship. We are not cheap. We are valuable to each other. We have a symbiotic relationship that thrives on. Ring there for each other. 

To take what I can not do and turn this into a positive uplifting post is achieved this way.  I will ask, I will talk. I will be calmer. I will understand my role in his life is sacred and precious. I have value. I have value to him. He is worth fighting for, we are worth fighting for, our family is worth fighting for. I am a critical part of our family. I am a critical part of Daddy’s life. I must never forget that. I must always remember I have value. I am valuable. I have to keep repeating this to myself. I have value to Daddy.

I am sorry, Daddy, from the depths of my soul-I am sorry. I am not allowed to be insecure about myself, about you, about our family. It is not acceptable behavior nor are they acceptable thoughts. Unconditional love is rare. I need to see how rare it is and accept that I am worthy of giving it and receiving it. I am loved, wanted and most of all needed, just as much as I need Daddy, he needs me. A dominant without a submissive is as useless as a submissive without a dominant. I must always remember the place I hold in Daddy’s heart. He has my heart in his pocket at all times. I am his.

I love you, Daddy, always and forever. I am sorry.

Sugar

 

Blind Trust?!

Screen Shot 2017-07-29 at 12.28.51 AMTrust…Hard to achieve and easy to break. It’s difficult and easy. It’s a matter of telling the truth, looking out for your Significant Other, and keeping your word. Those three things are directly related to how much someone trusts or doesn’t trust you. It may take some time to build up that trust. May take longer than you would like. You may have to “prove” yourself over and over. Great advice stays the course! Just keep doing those three things and don’t deviate. Never deviate, but in reality, you may never develop blind trust you desire with a person. You still shouldn’t deviate your course. It will be a testament to your character. You can’t ever truly control anyone but your own actions.

Sounds so very simple. Oh, it’s not. Fear of what they will think of you if you do something you don’t believe they will like, hard to anticipate their reaction- do something that they won’t approve of and poof trust is gone. Hard to give someone that amount of trust, as well. Personally, I come from a long line of people you can’t trust-a father, a husband and multiple partners along the way. So for me to trust Daddy is a very  big deal. He is very trustworthy with me. He tells me what he is going to do and if I happen to not to agree, we discuss. Of course, he has the final say and sometimes doesn’t heed my advice, but I do remind him (just like a 12-year-old) “I told you that was a bad idea!”

Sometimes, trust is knicked by being too emotional when you don’t like something. An example of this is if Daddy tells me something I don’t like. If I flip out and get emotional and angry, it says to him he can’t trust my reactions. I am working very hard on keeping things less emotional when I don’t like something. This brings me back to open communications. When I am scared or upset, I now communicate with Daddy more. I ask questions more calmly, I don’t get angry, or frightened. I also let him know I am afraid of _________. This allows him to put more trust in me and also me in him. I can say to him, it’s okay Daddy, I understand now and he is more willing to simply tell me and ask me if I have any questions.

Building trust is so difficult and all past relationships influence how long it takes us to build trust. Kayla Lords and John Brownstone from “Loving BDSM Podcasts” call them Bad Tapes. Those bad experiences color our new relationships and new experiences. We are scared, and it takes a lot of time, consistency and truths to build that blind trust needed so badly for solid relationships. It’s something you decide to work on together. You learn together. You have to see-saw back and forth until you know if the relationship can be trusted. At one point you have decisions to make.

You have to decide if this relationship is worthy of your blind trust. Some of them simply are not.  Some people are simply not worthy of your trusting them. They can’t be trusted. As a submissive, it is very hard to not need that level of trust. I can’t imagine not being able to trust my Daddy. I have had dominants that I shouldn’t have trusted but had. I know that it’s a requirement for me to be able to trust- and not just trust- trust blindly. To not even think that he would ever do anything to hurt me or to destroy the trust I have in him. Blind trust in BDSM is, in my opinion, a necessary part of the relationship. The dominants and the submissives lives can be at stake and the emotional piece can scar someone for life.

If I can say one piece of advice, it would be to choose well, be careful, watch out for red flags, but if all is well, begin to trust slowly and keep those lines of communication as open as you possibly can. Ask as many questions as you need to ask. Tell your dominant why you are asking them. Be calm, be secure and maybe, you’ll see that he is worthy of your blind trust.

Thank you, Daddy, for never getting angry at me for asking questions. For putting up with my “bad tapes”, for allowing me to have melt downs and helping me through them. We grow stronger every day due to your patience, my determination to learn to trust, your determination to help me be calmer and more secure.

I love you, always and forever,

Sugar

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The Downside of Poly…Not Liking One of My Metamours

Screen Shot 2017-07-28 at 12.32.50 AMOkay, I tried. I mean I really tried. I tried so hard even though it was seriously painful. I tried to befriend her, to make her see me as a friend, to help her be a better . with my Daddy. I did everything. Truthfully, everything. I tried to be empathetic, I tried to be generous, I tried to be giving, loving, maternal, and funny. I tried. It was to no avail. I was dismissed. Dismissed and ignored and just not accepted. She truly wanted nothing to do with me and only wanted my Daddy. Oh well…

My real issues are with how she treats my Daddy. I don’t care if she’s not into me as a person or his submissive, or his girlfriend (which sounds so silly to me. LOL) but she doesn’t get to be nasty to Daddy. I have a lot of trouble protecting him from her. He really doesn’t need my protection from her, but of course, I give him all that I can. They have been together for a very long time (longer than we have.) And he’s starting to seeing the woman I see. She’s manipulative and narcissistic. And because she’s not around full time, she is good at convincing him that she’s a kind, loving person. HA! He’s learning about her more each day. We laugh that I have removed the curtain behind the wizard. He struggles with cutting her off and I can see why. I don’t say I like it but, I do understand it, sometimes.

Sometimes! lol All in all, it’s a good learning experience that I won’t like every single person in his life. I won’t have to embrace them. I won’t have to either. I just need to make sure Daddy has all the information he needs to make his own decisions. It’s very hard for me at times, but it’s necessary. I always am respectful to him about his decisions and on this particular one, it’s a testament to my love for him! LOL, I don’t like this woman. I would love for her to disappear out of his life. I am sorry, Daddy, that I can’t embrace her, I am sorry I think she’s about the worst person for you, I am sorry she is not open to me. Lots of sorry’s, lots of “if it could only be differents.” I know it’s futile. It’s also okay.

I am allowed to not love everyone. I am allowed to keep protecting you.  I will simply love you enough to give you the strength to accept things as they truly are in life. I am yours regardless.

I love you unconditionally, but this doesn’t mean I need to love her unconditionally. I will do anything you ask of me. I trust you, I know you will always keep my best interest at heart, as I will keep yours. That’s what true, unconditional love is anyway.

I love you, forever and always,

Sugar

P.S. Just an FYI. I am not expected to have anything to do with said metamour. I don’t have to be her friend or acquaintance. (but I did try! LOL) I don’t need to embrace her to make Daddy happy. He’s simply the best Daddy ever. I am one lucky girl!

 

Pride

Screen Shot 2017-07-23 at 3.12.54 PMPride, the word is often used with negative connotations. It is used to show self-centeredness and egotism. It is used as self-importance. I totally disagree. I take pride in being the best submissive I can be.  I take pride in looking the best I can look, I take pride in dressing in a manner that is becoming and flattering as much as possible to Daddy. Wearing things that both Daddy and I like. It is important for Daddy to see that he is worth me making an extra effort. It may take me an extra 20 minutes to get ready to see him, but isn’t he truly worth 20 minutes of my time?

I am not a model. I don’t have the body of a beach bunny. I am very short, and…well fluffy. I am older. I am not perfect in any way-actually far from it. That fact doesn’t stop me from trying to be the best I can be, to take pride in my appearance and my style. Yes, the pride that I have a very handsome, sexy, and caring Daddy, who has sparked me to be the best I can be; not only for him, but for myself. He deserves this and he has shown me that I deserve this as well. I am a reflection of him. I am his and he wants me to take care of what is his as well as he does. This ownership allows me to have pride in being his. Pride in my own achievements and appearance. Pride in being his submissive.

It’s not only a hair, clothes and makeup pride, I also do a lot of research on the BDSM lifestyle. I research issues in other people and how he handles their issues. I take care of his needs in many ways when I can. If something he does is potentially  harmful to himself, I will be sure to let him know. If he is ill, I’m right there doing research for what will make him better faster. Kayla Lords, in her podcast “Adding A Tough Love Clause” from the podcasts-Loving BDSM, talks about a clause for her dominant that she is allowed to respectfully let her dominant, John Brownstone, know when he is not taking care of himself. I try to do the same for Daddy. This being said, he does the same for me. He will worry till I get home, he expects me to take care of myself for him and my own well-being. He will see something for me to wear that he would like and buy it. He and I take care of ourselves. I am not a perfect submissive by any stretch of the imagination-but I do try hard to be the best I can be for him.

Yes, I have pride and I am very proud of it! I am very proud of my Daddy as well. He deserves nothing but the best. I intend to try my best to give that to him, always!

I love you, Daddy with all my heart,
Sugar