What exactly makes you trust someone? There are several things that can be recognized. First and foremost is to have someone’s words and actions align perfectly. That what they say to you always or nearly always match what they do. That if they say they love you, they show you they love you. How that happens is individual to everyone. Maybe it’s taking time from a busy schedule to call you, or come to see you, or keeping a promise they make, kissing you when you least expect it. Making a plan to go away with you. Something that shows you what they say is how they truly feel. This alignment of words and actions solidifies the trust you desperately need to feel in order to have a thriving relationship, one that is not stagnant or makes you question everything they say.
You need to keep lying out of the relationship as well. That includes things you just don’t say because you don’t want the person to know. So if you skip telling the part of meeting someone after work, you lied. Lies by omission are still lies. They damage the foundation of a relationship-even if they are said to spare feelings. Examples: I can’t go with you to dinner I have to work late, when you’re meeting another coworker to have a drink. A better thing to say is “I promised a coworker I would have dinner with them and tomorrow we can go to dinner.” A relationship needs honesty. Then there isn’t a question of what is the real reason you can or can’t do something. Honesty is king of trust. Are there any reasons small lies are okay, sure! When you’re planning a surprise for someone or trying to find out what they would like or something that is is special for them.
Mean what you say, say what you mean. Now that is something that is absolutely necessary to establish a relationship with trust. Don’t say one thing and mean another. Even in trying to spare my feelings, I don’t like it. If you tell me you love a dress on me mean it. If you tell me you like my hair, mean it why? I can trust that when you say you look amazing you mean that. Cheap flattery is just that cheap, but an honest compliment means the world. Also if I tell you I’m not upset but truthfully I am crying and sad, you need to know that regardless of how badly that will make you feel. We can talk about how and why I feel that way and I can reassure you it’s okay and you’re still loved. Not harbor resentment that you should have known that I was upset and sad and didn’t. No one is a mind reader. Mean what you say, say what you mean. That builds a strong foundation of trust.
I’m lucky to have a dominant who shows me continually that I can trust him. It’s a daily thing. He is learning along side of me that together we can give trust the position of importance it deserves in our relationship. I am blessed beyond belief that I have finally found such a man.
My heart is yours and I strive to not only tell you that but to show you that. That when I give you a compliment it’s from my heart and soul, that when I tell you something you don’t want to hear, it’s true and not a lie. And you have shown me the same. Trust is of the utmost importance in my relationship. It allows me to give you my heart without reservation.
I love you, mind, body and soul.
Kisses and hugs,