Many times the D/s relationships have unique power exchanges. The uniqueness of these power exchanges differs from each Dominant and each submissive. A submissive often has a very loyal and trusting soul. They love to please their dominant. They will do anything to make sure he is happy. That works beautifully when the Dominant is the real deal, trustworthy and honest. Let us not forget having his submissive’s best interest at heart! That is something I know most Dom/sub relationships strive to achieve.
It is, however, imperative to look out for the signs of an abusive use of power when you’re a submissive. You know when something isn’t right. Deep in your heart. You feel it. Ask yourself these important questions. Would you be upset if a submissive friend told you her Dominant wanted this for her? So think, does whatever your dominant ask of you meet your approval for someone else? This will help clarify if what you’re feeling is justified when you seem confused. Here is an example, if. Daddy and I disagree on something, is it beciawe I want my own way or is not something that makes me feel badly about myself or our relationship? If I can answer that honestly then I know what the issues are and I can address them with daddy. It takes a huge amount of communication and a heap of courage to tackle those difficult topics.
That brings me to rules in general. Each and every relationship has some set of rules. These rules are either vocalized or unvocalized. Some times you can think of those rules as your limits. You don’t want any D/s relationship that has no limits. You have them even if no one has talked about them. This is the yet another way to judge the relationship and your feelings. Is your dominant consciously breaking the rules/limits or are you causing drama to get your own way. You are the person who can decide that. It is your responsibility to determine if you are being Bamboozled or abused. Remember if it feels like abuse or you feel badly, it is abuse.
This also goes for a Dominant! It is not unusual for a Daddy Dominant to be very soft when it comes to his babygirl. Is she taking advantage of his kindness? Is she asking for more than he should be giving? An example of that is money. Is that submissive asking for him to pay for her bills when she is suppose to be living on her own. I’m not talking about buying her a gift or helping her out in an emergency. I’m talking about taking advantage of his kindness. Maybe he has children and alimony and/ or child support. Maybe he can’t afford to pay her electric bill each month. That is an abuse of her power. She needs to be an adult and do the adult thing. It is the abuse that is despicable.
My daddy could probably take advantage of me without a problem. I could also do the same to him. It would be easy for both of us as much as we love each other, unconditionally and without the fear of abuse of power. Yet, we could no more do that than we could cause each other emotional pain on purpose. It would eventually break the trust we have in each other and cause a demise of our relationship. Yes, we could take advantage of each other. But where would that get us? We would be no better than a slimy con artist that is out for their own self concern. We definitely wouldn’t be emulating a healthy relationship of any kind and it wouldn’t last very long at all.
I am one of the lucky ones. I have found someone who is open, honest and would never abuse the love I so freely give him. I could no more abuse his trust than jump off a bridge. I could not tell him a lie or cause him to wonder if I am loyal. I am his. And he is my Daddy. I know that his unconditional love is a rare gift- our diamond with many facets. Why would either of us try to break that trust and unconditional love? It would be like tossing that diamond in a trash can. I, for one, love sparkly things and boy, do we sparkle!
To make sure you are not being abused or taken advantage of, be aware, communicate well, use your inner voice, don’t be taken by anyone, but when you finally find that special relationship, don’t break it. Savor each moment. Life is short. Love hard, but love well. Love smartly, and give it your all with someone who will give you his all.
I love you, adore you and love your twinkling and our sparkle when we are together. You have my trust, my loyalty and my heart. I have yours as well. We are safe. We are loved- unconditionally.
My heart, always and forever,